


God's Away On Business

by LadySerpentine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Religious Guilt, Supernatural AU - Freeform, a little hint of Pride and Prejudice, baker!cas, closeted!Cas, lawyer!Crowley, mechanic!Dean, tw: religious intolerance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:52:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySerpentine/pseuds/LadySerpentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is a 22 year old mechanic, working for his boss Bobby Singer at his garage. While out on a lunch run one day, Dean has the misfortune to rear end a very expensive car, and piss off the driver - a criminal defence attorney named Crowley. Dean strikes a deal with the lawyer that he'll fix his car out of his own pocket, and he's sure he'll come to regret his decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Highway Star

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title was taken from Tom Waits' amazing song of the same name. Every chapter title is also a song title. Dean's POV was written by me, and Crowley's POV by my wonderful friend Kimisgirl, who cross posted this to her livejournal.

_Dean_

 

Okay, so it may or may not have been his fault.   
  
Normally, he wouldn't bother leaving work during lunch, but today he promised Bobby and the boys he'd pick them up some drive-thru deliciousness. It was probably a bad plan to listen to Deep Purple when he was driving, especially that most epic of songs, "Highway Star". Not that it wasn't awesome music to listen to, but Dean could never quite manage to maintain a steady, reasonable speed whenever he listened to Deep Purple.   
  
So, technically speaking, he could blame it on the boogie.   
  
Even for Dean Winchester, that was a terrible joke.   
  
He got out of his '67 Chevy Impala, wincing when he realised he hadn't just rear ended any regular car - he had managed to rear end a brand new Lexus.   
  
He approached the driver of the slick car (glossy black, with matte black rims - very fucking cool) as he stepped out.   
  
"Hey, sorry about that, buddy!" Dean said, plastering his most charming grin in place.   
  
He was expecting the driver to be some uptight white guy in a suit.  
  
He wasn't disappointed.   
  
Dean suddenly felt very under-dressed. His grease speckled flannel shirt covered a well loved black Metallica tee (that had more than a few holes worn in the fabric), and blue jeans over his work boots. The driver of the other car was in an immaculate suit, his button down shirt as black as the suit, and a silk tie that provided the only other splash of colour - grey.   
  
Dean moistened his lips and said cheerfully, "Let's have a look at the damage and swap insurance info, yeah?"

 

_Crowley_

 

"Well, this was just bloody brilliant." Crowley thought to himself as he rubbed the pain that shot through his neck, groaning as he looked into his rear-view mirror and his brow knotted in deep, frustrated frown. He was already running late, and now he had to deal with some hill billy son of a bitch who had rear ended his bloody car!  
  
Moving slowly, he pushed open the door to his car and climbed out, smoothing his suit and glaring at the man who was approaching him, and it only worsened his mood when he noticed the man was  _smiling_!? Why in the name of all that was unholy was this idiot smiling?   
  
"I'm sorry? Something amusing here you bloody great twat!" he snapped at the taller man, eyes flicking over the undeniably attractive man, younger than he was by at least ten years. Right now however, he was more concerned with his car, and the damage this idiot had done with his bloody tank of a Chevy.   
  
Crowley pushes past the man, ignoring him and rounding the end of his car, throwing his hands up when he sees the extent of the damage, the back bumper was on the ground on one side, the exhaust had come loose and the boot had popped open and was bent at the wrong angle.  
  
"Fuck me, how fast were you going?" he hissed, looking up at the man with stormy eyes. "You want to explain me what happened here? Because I know I sure as shit wasn't doing anything wrong. Minding my own damn business..."   
  
"Well?" Demanded as he moved back toward the man, rolling his neck again, the pain still sharp as it shot down his spine and arms, he was fairly certain he had whiplash. Which was fan-fucking-tastic.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean couldn't help it. When he got nervous, he ended up smiling and getting cheeky to cover it up. For now, he managed to bite his tongue and not come out with a snarky response. He shrugged his shoulders and let suit guy push past him.   
  
Going by his reaction, the damage was pretty bad.   
  
Dean decided he should have a look himself, and he winced. Just his luck! He had managed to cause a couple grand worth of damage, but a part of him lit up at the thought of fixing up a Lexus. The parts would be expensive, sure, but if he could make it look as good as new, it'd almost be worth damaging it in the first place.   
  
Dean gave him his most charming smile and said, "Okay, I'll admit it - my bad. But I'm a mechanic, I can fix this up for you, yeah?"   
  
His smile faded when he realised the man was wincing in pain. It was one thing to hurt a car, but hurting another person (even a suit wearing dickhole like this guy) rubbed him the wrong way.   
  
"Buddy, maybe you should sit down. Do you need me to call an ambulance?" he asked, pulling out a cell phone that would have been considered out of date in 2005.

 

 

_Crowley_

 

"I'm fine." He snapped, as he waved the man's phone away. "I don't need a damn ambulance, I need my fucking car to work." He growled at the man, frowning when he said he could fix the damage.  
  
"You're offering to fix it?" Asked, his tone one of mistrust and suspicion, he had not gotten to where he had in life, trusting random strangers on the street. "Why? Why not just let the insurance do it?"  
  
He studied the man carefully for a moment and then smirked, the corner of his mouth turning up maliciously and he snorted. "You don't want the police involved is that it?" he asked arrogantly, clearly looking down his nose at this guy.  
  
"Why would I let you touch my car after what you've just done to it?" Demands as he looked at the man with an ugly sneer.   
  
He waved a hand, moving to his door again and leaning against his vehicle as he pulled out his cell, the latest model of course, and started dialling nine one one. 

 

 

_Dean_

 

"You ain't fine," Dean protested, frowning deeply. He assumed the guy had been injured during the fender bender, possibly whiplash - and Dean knew that by the looks of this guy, he probably had a lot of money behind him. He could sue Dean for the shirt off his back, and he could probably afford the lawyers to make it happen.  
  
Dean, on the other hand, was barely scraping by. He couldn't afford this to go official.   
  
"I'm a mechanic," he said by way of explanation. "I never get to work on cars this pretty, and I specialise in making beat up junkers look brand new. How d'you think I got an Impala looking this good?" He gestured to his baby proudly, and sighed when he realised he had busted his headlights  _and_  the bumper. She was going to need almost as much work to repair as this guy's car.   
  
"No, no, please don't call the cops," Dean pleaded. "Look, I've already got a DUI; if I get in trouble with the cops again, they'll take away my license. I  _need_  to stay on the road, dude."   
  
It wasn't this stranger's fault that Dean would end up fucked over if the cops got involved. His Mom lived two towns over, and if he didn't have his car, he couldn't take her to the grocery store every week - and he sure as hell couldn't ferry his kid brother to all his damn SAT prep classes without his car.   
  
"I'll do anything, dude, just please ..."

 

_Crowley_

 

Crowley didn't have time to listen to this man's sob story, but something in the way he said 'anything' had Crowley interested. Never say he wasn't interested in making a good deal.  
  
"You'll do anything?" He questioned, one expertly groomed brow moving toward his hair line.   
  
"An interesting proposition." Added Crowley, giving the man a once over and putting his cell back in his coat pocket for now. "Alright, pretty boy, I'm listening. What can you possibly offer me that would make me not making this official worth my while?" The look he gave the man was predatory and dangerous and if the man had any sense, he'd exchange info, wait for the cops to arrive and never look back at Crowley again. Crowley however, was hoping the man was not sensible, because now the game was a foot, he was more than a little intrigued. After all, he did enjoy stepping on the little man.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean anxiously watched the man's thumb as it hovered over the call button on his cell phone, knowing his fate now depended on this guy deciding whether or not to throw him a bone.   
  
"Anything!" Dean repeated, not caring how desperate he sounded. And screw it, he  _was_  desperate! His family depended on him having a car, and he sure as hell couldn't depend on his dad to help Sammy or Mom out - not now he had his new wife and son to think about.   
  
His face flushed when Crowley called him "pretty boy", not sure he liked the direction this seemed to be taking.   
  
"Look, I'll fix up your car - free of charge. I'll even pay for all the parts myself, okay?" he suggested, but something in the way suit guy looked at him told Dean that he wouldn't be content with such a practical offer. "Hell, if you want me to dress in drag while I fix it up, that's what I'll do!" he added, not sure what this guy wanted from him.

 

_Crowley_

 

Crowley's smirk grew wider as the man begged for his life, or at least that's what it felt like he was doing, who knows, maybe that's what the man thought was at stake here. And it gave the man a sense of power that he was rather fond of. The only question now, was how to use it to his advantage, but the sounds of it, he could tell the man to get on his knees and suck him off right here in the street and he'd probably do it. That however was slightly more crude than Crowley was into, he had more refined tastes, and wasn't, surprisingly, being known for being a completely arsehole among those who knew him, into forcing men to have sex with him. He could get sex without having it be taken unwillingly from someone.  
  
So this left him with the question, what did he want from this man.  
  
"Fine, you fix it, and fix it fast, and I won't call the cops; but just know, you owe me now." He decided that there was no need to decide right then and there, but he would be thinking about it, and soon enough he'd work out just what he could take that made his life a little richer, after all, he was all about being rich.  
  
"You do have a tow truck yes?" He gave the man a scathing look as he asked, and then added because, he was never one to let an opportunity to get away. "As pretty as you might be in drag love, I don't swing that way."  
  
"Now, how do you plan to fix my car, and when can I expect it done?"

 

_Dean_

 

Dean visibly sagged with relief, clutching at his chest. "Oh, holy shit, you are a life saver!" he exclaimed, looking at the shorter man like he couldn't believe his luck.  
  
He pulled out his phone and texted his boss, Bobby, asking him to send one of the guys out with the tow truck, apologising for being late with their lunch. He expected Bobby would be cranky - mostly because Bobby was a grumpy guy at the best of times, but he tended to be grouchier when he was hungry - but he could rely on him for just about anything.   
  
"Yeah, I owe you  _big_  time, buddy!" Dean said, hitting send on his ancient brick of a phone. He'd managed to make this phone last him almost five years, which was something of a miracle, considering how modern cell phones had the average lifespan of a possum on a highway.   
  
He looked up at suit guy, grinning with relief. "I've got somebody on the way with the tow truck, don't worry."   
  
He surveyed the damage to suit guy's car, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while his mind worked through what could be repaired, and what would have to be replaced. "I can get her fixed in a week, tops, maybe three days if I pull some strings. We don't tend to keep Lexus parts in stock at the garage. Too expensive to replace if we get broken into. But I know a guy who can overnight me the parts."   
  
He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward now the sense of relief was wearing off. "I uh ... should probably get your name and number so I can call you when she's done."

 

_Crowley_

 

He raised an unimpressed brow, wondering how this man got through each day if he got that happy over not having the cops called. It was clearly not a far fall to the gutter for this one. He sniffed, looking at him like he was a bug on his windshield and then nodded reluctantly.  
  
"I'm going to need your information, including a copy of your identification and home address. I will not be screwed out of my car by some little punk. If you're on the up and up, you've got nothing to worry about. If you steal from me..." he gave him a dangerous look, one that made better men than this kid shrink in fear, "Don't steal from me. There's a pet." He finished with a cold wink.   
  
He took the time now to look around him and sighed a little, pulling out his cell and handing it to the man, "Information, now." He ordered as he put a plan of action together in his head, he had to get to work, he had meetings, he decided he would call his driver and have him pick him up. Just as soon as this idiot had put his personal information into his phone. "And careful with that, I don't need you wrecking anything else of mine." He sneered meanly.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean was used to people looking down on him. He hadn't been a mechanic this long without having uppity types acting like special snowflakes and treating him like dirt. He just shrugged it off, and got on with it. He had more important things to worry about, and if any of them ever got under his skin, he'd bitch about them to his coworkers while he worked on their cars, but he took too much pride in his work to ever take it out on the vehicle.   
  
This guy, however, was really starting to ruffle his feathers.   
  
"What, you think I can just pull a Xerox out of my ass?" Dean scoffed. He pulled open the driver side door and bent over, rummaging in the glove box for his driver's license. Once he had retrieved it, he held it out to suit guy, his cheerful smile now forgotten. "Take a picture of it with your fancy cell phone, because you ain't keeping that."   
  
The look suit guy gave him would have cowed him, but Dean had been on the receiving end of far scarier looks from his dad during one of his alcohol binges, and one thing that had taught him was to never back down from a bully. He jutted out his chin obstinately, matching suit guy's glare with one of his own.   
  
He took the man's cell phone, looking at it in bewilderment. This thing was more slick and high-tech than anything he'd ever seen in Star Trek, and his own cell still had those charmingly old fashioned things called buttons. He shook his head, and managed to open the dialler, tapping his number into it and saving it as "Dean punk-who-has-your-car Winchester".   
  
He offered it to Crowley once he was done, rolling his eyes. "You got a name to go with that attitude, buddy?" he asked.

 

_Crowley_

 

He took a moment to study the man, impressed that he'd not shown the fear most people do toward him. It showed a back bone he'd not been expecting, considering how much the man had begged not to have the cops called. He smirked at him and shrugged a shoulder briefly. "You answered your own question there pet. Camera phones, wonderful things aren't they." He commented while he took a photo of the man's license and handed it back, noting his name, age and address. Only twenty two, and already an attitude that told the defense attorney that his life hadn't been kind. Still, it was hardly his problem, as long as his car was fixed in a timely manner.  
  
"Yes, I do have a name." He answered as he took his phone back, checked the number the man had entered, snorting at the name he'd put it under and hit dial to make sure it was actually his number. Once the man's phone started ringing, he was satisfied and hung up the call.   
  
"I expect to hear from you. Where will you be taking it, I want an address." He asked as he reached into his car and pulled out his brief case and over coat from the back seat. Slipping the coat onto his shoulders before he picked up the brief case again that he'd set on the ground while he handled his coat.   
  
He hit dial on his drivers number and barked a few words into the phone, clearly not in the mood to be friendly, telling him where he was and that he was to be picked up immediately.   
  
Only then did he turn his attention back to the mechanic.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean frowned, disliking the man's choice of nickname for him. "I ain't your pet, buddy," he snapped, taking back his license and stuffing it in the back pocket of his jeans. "And I wouldn't know. My cell doesn't even have a camera on it."   
  
He widened his green eyes, looking at the guy and thinking he might just be the most arrogant son of a bitch he's ever had the misfortune to (literally) run into. "And do I get the honour of  _knowing_  your name, or do I need to earn above a certain income level to learn that?" Dean sneered.   
  
He'd be more pissed off about suit guy's paranoia if it wasn't a Lexus that was at stake here. He dropped his phone in the same pocket as his licence, and scowled.  
  
"Singer's repairs," Dean said, pulling a cheap business card from his wallet and holding it out to the man. Bobby hadn't gone in for anything fancy with his business cards. Truth be told, Sam had designed the cards, and Bobby had them printed up by a friend who owed him a favour. Dean half expected suit guy to turn his nose up at the mere sight of it. "Address and phone number's on the card. If you call, just ask for me."

 

_Crowley_

 

Crowley gave the man a smirk that would have made a whore blush and winked at him. "A few minutes ago you would have been my anything I wanted you to be. Be grateful I'm not into public fellatio and hush about up about what I call you." He taunted, proving yet again that he was the one with the power in this situation.  
  
"You'll be hearing from me Dean Winchester." He replied as his driver pulled up and he headed toward the sleek black down car. He turned and smirked at the man. "Crowley, the name's Crowley." And with that he climbed into the back seat of the town car and told the driver to get him to the office as fast as possible, flipping over the business card he'd taken from Dean between his thumb and forefinger. Wondering to himself just what he'd gotten himself into with this one.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean couldn't help but blush. The smirk Crowley gave him was so loaded with intent that it bordered on obscene, and for all his womanising ways, the young mechanic couldn't handle having a guy flirt with him. Then again, flirting was too nice a description for that smile, or for what he had just said.   
  
He ducked his head, and muttered something about suit guy being a complete jerk, but otherwise kept his mouth shut. He took the offered car keys, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground.   
  
Just as Crowley's town car pulled up, Dean spotted the tow truck trundling into view in the opposite direction. Relieved that his interactions with Crowley were at an end, at least for now, he watched the guy leave, worrying that he might have just got himself into worse trouble than if he had just let the police get involved.


	2. Electric Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets home after the worst day at work, and tells his best friend and room mate, Castiel Novak, what transpired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's POV is written by the incredibly talented and damn attractive kimisgirl over on LiveJournal. Check out her other fics and tell her how awesome she is!

_ Castiel _

 

Castiel Novak was sitting on the couch, an apple in one hand and a book in the other. He took a bite of his apple happily as he read _Pride and Prejudice_ for perhaps the sixth time. What could he say, he was a sucker for Mister Darcy, and he found the whole thing hopelessly romantic. And Cas was nothing if he wasn't a hopeless romantic. Not that he had any romance in his life, far from it. He was doomed to always be alone, he was sure of it.  
  
You see, not only was he gay, he was in the closet, socially awkward, shy and worst of all, he had had a crush on his best friends kid brother for years and couldn't bring himself to ever do anything about it. So yes, he was destined to be alone. It's okay though, he'd accepted it. And as such he read a  _lot_  of romance novels, good and bad, he didn't care as long as they had a happy ending.  
  
He looked up when he heard footsteps on the stairs up to their small apartment and he looked up as Dean pushed his way in the door, raising an eyebrow at the look on his friends face and asked conversationally. "Bad day?"

 

_Dean_

 

By the time Dean got home that evening, he was fuming. Not only had he had to put up with that suit guy - Crowley, that was his name - but Bobby had torn him a new one in his office when he got back with cold burgers and fries, and two busted up cars. He could cope with yelling and general nastiness. His father had seen to that one, but the one thing he couldn't handle was someone being disappointed in him.  _  
  
_ Bobby had sure as hell been disappointed.  _  
  
_ He had spent his afternoon chasing up parts for the Lexus, and figured he'd have to duct tape his baby together and wait until Crowley's car was fixed before he could even think about getting the parts she'd need. Once he had worked out the cost, even after calling in favours and promising half a dozen more, Dean estimated that he'd be living on ramen for at least two months.  _  
  
_ Once he got into the apartment, he stomped over to the couch and flopped onto it, laying his head on Castiel's lap. They had been friends since they were kids, and Dean needed a little comfort right now.  __  
  
"Could say that!" He grumped, rolling onto his back and looking up at his dorky best friend. "I hit a fucking Lexus."

 

_Castiel_

 

Cas moved so he was sitting with his legs crossed so he could support his friends head a little better and put down his apple and book. Smiling down at him with questioning eyes, his hand automatically went to Dean's hair and he petted him gently, trying to soothe his bad mood. _  
  
_ "What happened?" he asked softly, eyes sparkling a little with humour, because his friend was very cute when he was grumpy, which didn't happen that often. "And what did Lexus do? Is it a personal wrong? Or something they have done through proxy?" he asked, gathering all the details would be essential if he were to learn who to focus his wrath on. Perhaps it was not Lexus who was at fault after all, or perhaps it was. He wasn't to know without the facts! __  
  
Continues to run his fingers through Dean's hair as he looked down at his best friend, tilting his head and his eyes grow a little more serious. 

 

"You're really upset about this, Dean, what happened?" he asked, tone quiet and worried, because he hadn't realised at first that something really bad had actually happened. "Wait, did you say you  _hit  _ a lexus? Are you okay? Is your car...?" he knew that if Dean had ruined his car he'd be a mess for weeks, months maybe, and he hoped to goodness that wasn't what happened.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean let himself relax on Castiel's lap, closing his eyes while he just enjoyed the feeling of his friend's hand on his hair. Something about Cas was just so soothing to be around, despite all his awkward ways.  _  
  
_ Dean spluttered, opening his eyes to fix Cas with an incredulous look. "Lexus ain't a person, Cas! It's a type of car - a fucking expensive one, too." He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned. He had forgotten how clueless his best friend could be at times - especially when it came to cars. Cas couldn't tell a Hyundai from a Porsche!  _  
  
_ He clenched his jaw, not wanting to talk about how much damage he had done to his baby. He also didn't want to talk about how he had spent quite some time apologising to the Impala, promising he'd fix her up as soon as that bastard Crowley's car was out of the garage and out of his life. Cas didn't need to know how insane he really was.  _  
  
_ "Baby will live, but her front end is being held together with a whole mess of duct tape," he growled out, resting his hands on his stomach. "The other car belongs to this complete jerk called Crowley. I had to promise him I'd fix his car free of charge so he wouldn't call the cops."  __  
  
He met Castiel's gaze and said more quietly, "And you remember what happened last time ... they'd take my licence away this time."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel looked down at his friend and nodded sadly. Dean it seemed, had had a terrible day, and now Cas had to help make him feel better. He was good at that, at least he thought he was. Dean often said he was, so here's hoping it really was the case. He just had to figure out the right angle. _  
  
_ "You promised to pay for his car repairs?" he asked, his tone worried, because he knew how little Dean had. He gave most of what he earned to his mother to help with his brother's education, to make sure Sam was able to go to college next year after he left highschool. He had been doing it for years, ever since he started working for Bobby when he was sixteen.  _  
  
_ "Dean, you can't afford that," Cas pointed out helpfully, and sighed. "I will help you, I'll pay the rent for the next few months okay. And don't even try to argue."  _  
  
_ His manner was firm and he wouldn't let Dean say no to this. Castiel came from a wealthy family, and though he didn't dip into his bank account often, he could at least do this. He knew if he simply offered to give Dean the money for the man's car, his friend wouldn't take it. This though, this he could get away with... he thought. __  
  
"Are you hungry? I can cook," he offered, after all, he was a good cook, great actually, though he was better at baking, being that he was a baker... you know, he baked, as a job. He needed to work on the English skills of his internal monologue, clearly it was lacking. But yes, he was a baker.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean nodded his head, and groaned again. "I just fucking screwed myself six ways to Sunday, didn't I?" he asked, the realisation of just how bad this situation was hitting him like a dump truck. Sure, he may have avoided the law, but as a result he had left himself with barely enough money to afford food for the next few months. His stomach grumbled at the mere thought of having to go without pie.  _  
  
_ Now he thought about it, maybe letting the cops take his license would have been a better option.  _  
  
_ "I know I can't," he agreed in a small voice. He sat upright, staring at Cas in shock. "I can't ask you to do that, Cas!"  _  
  
_ He always hated handouts. Maybe it was just his stubborn pride, or maybe it was because it meant having to rely on others. Regardless of his personal feelings, he recognised that look in Castiel's eyes. It was pointless to debate this.  _  
  
_ He sighed, and said, "I'll pay you back, okay? Once I've paid for all the parts, I'll work out paying you back."  __  
  
He rubbed his temple, feeling beyond stressed right now. "I'm starving," he admitted. He hadn't eaten his lunch earlier, not after the stern words Bobby had for him left his stomach feeling oddly queasy. "What's it gonna be tonight? Instant ramen, or grilled cheese?" He was merely teasing. Castiel's cooking was legendary, even better than his Mom's. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud, of course.

 

_Castiel_

 

"You're not asking, I'm telling you, I'm doing it, end of story," he told his friend firmly and then rolled his eyes. It was pointless to argue with him about being paid back, he simply wouldn't take the money when the time came, or if need be, he'd give it to Sam to give to Mrs. Winchester without Dean knowing, damn stubborn, prideful bastard that his friend could be. _  
  
_ "I have no doubt Dean, now quit worrying, and get changed. We're going out, I need to get some groceries and your ass is helping me carry them home," he said as he went into the kitchen to survey what they currently had, which was not all that much, he may have been a good cook, but he was lazy when it came to keeping the kitchen stocked. _  
  
_ "I could make a grilled cheese that would make you weak at the knees!" he called to his friend with a grin. "So don't be knocking the grilled cheese!" he added with a chuckle, making a quick list of what they'd need, before heading back to the lounge room and asking to the apartment at large, not sure where Dean was at the moment, though he assumed his room.  __  
  
"Ready to go?"

 

_Dean_

 

Dean clenched his jaw, wanting to argue that he couldn't accept that much money from anyone, let alone his best friend, but he could see there was really no point. Cas could be every bit as stubborn as he was, but at least he had the bank account to back up his offer, unlike Dean. He lived paycheck to paycheck, and any sick days could mean the difference between paying his rent and bills on time, or stretching whatever leftovers he had for as long as possible.  _  
  
_ "Okay, just don't say anything when you see the mess my baby's in," he ordered, and made his way to his room to change out of his dirty work clothes. Nothing he owned could be called new. His mom had taught him to sew when he was still a kid, and he had managed to make three pairs of jeans last him almost six years thanks to her. They may have been ragged around the hems, and running to threadbare on the ass, but he couldn't justify buying anything new for himself. Not when Sammy needed a new laptop, and Dean had been scrimping and saving to be able to afford one for him.  _  
  
_ He snorted with laughter as he pulled on a clean t-shirt and jeans, and wandered back out to the lounge area. "And don't I know it!" he said, winking at his friend. "Don't think I've ever had a grilled cheese as good as yours in my life." __  
  
He clapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders, and led him to the door. "Come on, let's get your skinny ass to the store." 

 

_Castiel_

 

Cas laughed as Dean wandered back in and shook his head. "And don't ever forget it. I feed you, that way you'll always come home." He said with a wink at his friend, only half joking. He didn't have many friends, most people couldn't get used to his personality, but Dean and him had been friends from the moment they'd met, Dean had rescued him from a bunch of bullies when they were in grade school and it had been friendship at first sight.  _  
  
_ He often wondered how he'd not falling for Dean, he knew he loved him, he decided a few years ago that it must be because as far as both men were concerned they were brothers. Blood be damned. So before you get it in your head that he was probably lying to himself and actually in love with his best friend, just know he's not, that's not the story being told. Okay, good.  _  
  
_ He nodded as he opened the door and added "I'm not that skinny asshat. I'm just delicate." He demanded as he led the way down the stairs. "And you're not one to talk, you need to eat more." He accused.  _  
  
_ "I keep telling you to drop by the bakery in the mornings, and you never do, you wretch!"  _  
  
_ He stopped dead when they got to the foot path and frowned, staring at the Impala and then turning to Dean, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry sweetie, we'll get her fixed okay, I promise." He whispered softly. He knew this must be really upsetting Dean.  __  
  
"Let me help okay? Please, I want to, it can be a birthday present, or Christmas, both, just let me help. I know you're saving to buy Sam a laptop, you can't afford both." He looked at his friend carefully, watching his face for any hint that his friend was going to give in.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean chuckled, and shook his head fondly. "Bullshit. I'll always come home to my bestie!" he said, giving Cas a one-armed hug. He meant it, too. Cas was the family he had chosen for himself, and one of only four people he felt he could really trust and rely on. He could confide anything in Cas, anything at all.  _  
  
_ It burned a little that Cas still hadn't officially come out to him. Dean had known for years, and maybe he had always known that Cas was gay. The trouble was that he never said it out loud. It tore him up inside, because he wanted to see his best friend happy with someone who'd treat him right.  _  
  
_ "Yeah, you're a delicate, precious little flower," Dean teased, ruffling Castiel's hair.  _  
  
_ He patted his flat belly and said proudly, "And spoil this girlish figure? Screw that!" His jocular tone belied just how hungry he really was. Dean had the appetite of an average elephant, but he also had the budget of a church mouse. So what if the waistband on his jeans was a couple of inches too big? As long as he wore a belt, nobody noticed. Nobody but Cas.  _  
  
_ Once they reached the car park, Dean took one look at his car and felt like crying. She was a sorry sight, all patched up with duct tape. "My poor baby ... " he muttered, and clasped one arm around Cas, returning his hug half heartedly.  __  
  
"Cas, no," Dean said firmly. "You've already offered to help me out with rent, I can't let you shell out for my car, too. Besides ... the tape should hold her together. Long as the weather holds, it won't be an issue, yeah?"

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel gave Dean a suddenly harsh look and let him go, more than a little annoyed. "What is the point of having money if I can't even help the one person I actually care about out when he needs it most?" He asked with an angry lilt to his tone. "I know you're to proud to ask Dean, but it wouldn't kill you to just let those who love you take care of you sometimes." _  
  
_ Dean did nothing but take care of those around him, and he left very little time for himself. He had never had a serious relationship that Cas had seen, he didn't eat nearly enough, he worked too much, and he never ever bought himself nice things. The last new shirt the man had gotten was one Castiel had bought him for Christmas two years ago, and he'd had to promise he'd not buy the man clothes again. Apparently Dean found it 'weird'. _  
  
_ "And you don't eat enough." He snapped, annoyed and a little hurt. "You can stop me paying for the car, but you can't stop me feeding you!" He practically shouts in his determination, his eyes dangerously focused. "And if you don't eat what I make you, I will cry!" He threatens, because he knew Dean hated when he cried. He did it rarely in any real sense, but when he did, Dean was a mess trying to stop it or fix it.  __  
  
"Isn't Sam meant to be staying over this weekend? He'll agree with me! He'll say you should let me pay for it." And yes, he was dirty enough to use Dean's little brother against him.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean's eyes widened in shock. Having Castiel snap at him was a bit like being savaged by a harmless little bunny. Apparently this bunny was more like the beast of Caerbannog, and Dean was more than a little taken aback.  _  
  
_ "Cas ..." he said his name soothingly, hoping to stave off another round of anger, but he was too late. Cas launched into another tirade about how Dean didn't take care of himself properly. He could handle it all. It was nothing he hadn't heard a million times before. Bobby had said it, his Mom, Sam, and now it was Castiel's turn. This time, however, Cas had an ace up his sleeve - tears.  _  
  
_ His arms flailed in distress, and he clutched his friend's arm, green eyes wide and panicked. "No, don't cry! Please, don't cry! You can cram food into me until my stomach bursts, just don't cry!"  _  
  
_ Tears were the one thing he could never handle. Just the sight of them made him crumble, and he'd do anything to make them go away.  __  
  
"You son of a bitch ... " he growled out. "Tears, and threats of Sammy? Alright, fine - you win! But you shouldn't have to pay for my stupidity, okay? I was the one dumb enough to speed, and I should pay for it." He added nervously, "But I'll totally let you pay, as long as you don't cry at me."

 

_Castiel_

 

He took a breath and settled down a little when Dean finally gives in. He knew the tears and Sammy were a low blow but he was not going to lose this battle. Not this time. "Good!" He nodded firmly. "What good is it, putting up with my stupid father if I can't spend his money on you Dean!"  _  
  
_ He let go of Dean and headed to the passenger side, opening the door and climbing in. "So who was this guy anyway, the one who is making you pay for repairs on his stupid car?" He asked as the took off toward the shops. He figured talking about the car accident was safer than asking again if Sam was still staying over this weekend. Castiel really had to learn to stop asking about Sam or Dean was going to realise one day, things that Castiel would very much rather his best friend never found out about. __  
  
"Also, my father invited me to Anna's wedding next month. He is demanding I bring a date. He is also demanding I marry soon and give him and Mother grandkids." He informed Dean, scrunching up his nose in distaste and sighing heavily. "I don't even know any girls to take, and I don't want to get married, or have children!"

 

_Dean_

 

Dean rolled his eyes fondly, and walked to the driver's side, trailing his hand along the bonnet of his car. He murmured, "It's okay, baby. Uncle Cas is going to fix you up, promise." He slid into the driver's seat, pretending he hadn't just spoken to his car. _  
  
_ He fastened his seat belt and turned to look at Cas. "I dunno. Some slick wearing a suit. Called himself Crowley," he explained. He was curious about the guy, mostly because he had only given him one name, and Dean wasn't sure if it was his family name, or his Christian name. He wasn't even sure what this guy did for a living, but whatever it was, Dean could recognise wealth when he saw it, especially when it was flaunted the way Crowley did.  _  
  
_ That was why he liked Cas so much. The guy came from a wealthy family, but he acted like a regular jack-off. He didn't walk around in fancy tailored suits or drive a ridiculously expensive car.  _  
  
_ "And he's not making me. I offered to do it, as long as he didn't get the cops involved," he said, wanting to clear that up. Dean didn't like being forced into anything, and this whole mess of a situation was his own fault.  _  
  
_ He started up the car and pulled out of their parking lot, heading for the grocery store at a safe, legal speed. He had learned his lesson this time around.  _  
  
_ He glanced at Cas, and said, "Jeeze, I didn't realise the wedding was so soon!" He had only met Anna once. She seemed nice, from what Dean could tell from such a brief meeting. "Well tell you what, we'll dress Sammy up as a girl and let you take him, huh?" he teased. __  
  
He wasn't blind. He had seen the way Cas blushed whenever Sam was around. If it was anyone else crushing on his brother, he'd have been mad as hell, but he could trust Cas. It also appealed to the sappy side of him, because if Cas and Sam started dating, it would mean Cas might end up as an official part of his family some day.

 

_Castiel_

 

Cas nodded his head as he looked out the window of the car, watching the streets pass by, it wasn't a long drive to the grocery store but he enjoyed it none the less, he always had liked driving around with Dean.  _  
  
_ "Well he still shouldn't have let you pay for the repairs, if he drives a Lexus then he has enough money to pay himself." He pointed out, because in his head that was the way the world should work, even if he knew, sadly, that it wasn't even close to being the way things often turned out. _  
  
_ "Just don't let him take advantage of you Dean." Cas warned, he had seen his dad do it to so many people who he deemed below his family, and the idea of it hurt him immensely when it was Dean who might be on the receiving end of it. _  
  
_ He was just about to ask what needed to be done to the man's lexus when Dean suggested he dress Sam up as a girl for Anna's wedding and Castiel almost choked on his own tongue, blushing scarlet and he looked determinedly out the window, refusing to give Dean the satisfaction.  _  
  
_ "I highly doubt Sam would agree to that Dean." He finally manages to mutter. And he clears his throat. "And unless Sam can some how have babies, I doubt it would be enough to satisfy my father." _  
  
_ His father was very religious, originally from the south, he was a republican through and through and that included his views on gays, abortions and gun laws. All of which Castiel strongly disagreed with him on. The closest he'd come to rebelling however, was to declare one Christmas, after too much eggnog, that he was in fact a Democrat. His father had slapped him across the face and thrown him out. He'd told him not to come back in the house until he'd changed his mind. __  
  
Considering it had been snowing and Cas had no coat on, or gloves, it had not taken him long to decide that he was fine with his father thinking he was a republican, after all, he the man couldn't see who he voted for come election day.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders. _  
  
_ "I know that, he knows that, and you know that," he said. "But we also know that life's a bitch, don't we? Besides ... I can't afford to lose my license. Mom and Sammy rely on me being able to drive."  _  
  
_ He huffed out in irritation, remembering what Crowley had said to him earlier. If he had been more of an asshole, Dean was sure he would have taken advantage of the situation a whole lot worse than he did. Not that the way he acted didn't make him enough of a jerk as it was.  _  
  
_ "Trust me, Cas. It'll be three days, maybe a week, and I'll never have to see the son of a bitch again," Dean said, firmly believing in his words.  _  
  
_ He risked a glance at Cas, and ended up bursting out laughing at just how red he had turned. "Oh, holy shit - you're like a tomato!" he snorted, shaking his head. If Cas got to use Sammy as a weapon against him, Dean would do it right back whenever he could.  _  
  
_ "I dunno, Sam's pretty girly," he teased. "He could be hiding a vagina for all I know!" __  
  
Dean shook his head, and said quietly, "He's eighteen, buddy. Just ask him out already."

 

_Castiel_

 

He looked at Dean as they pulled up to the shop, he was going to reply when Dean told him to just ask Sam out and his jaw dropped, he was gob smacked and embarrassed and terrified and he floundered for a moment desperately before doing the one thing that he could think of.  _  
  
_ He clenched his jaw, glaring at Dean, and said very firmly. "I'm not gay." And then got out of the car and all but ran into the shop, needing to put some space between them. Because he was not ready to have this conversation, not with anyone, not even Dean, especially not Dean. Because he knew Dean would tell him it was fine, that being gay was okay and that he didn't judge him. But it wasn't okay, and it wasn't fine and he would be judged, by god, at the end of days, he would be judged and sent to hell. Castiel did not want to go to hell. He was named after an angel for goodness sake! So were all his brothers and sisters.  _  
  
_ So no, he was not gay, he couldn't be gay! He couldn't fight it in his own head, but he certainly couldn't tell anyone in reality, because as long as it was only in his head, it wasn't a sin yet. He hadn't done anything wrong.  __  
  
He took up a shopping cart and started down the closest isle, not even looking at what he was passing, every now and then he'd throw something that he thought he might vaguely need into the cart.

 

_Dean_

 

The panic in his best friend's face was obvious. Dean wondered was it because he had been caught out, or because he was still in denial, or maybe it was because he didn't want to admit that he had a thing for his best friend's brother.  _  
  
_ "Cas, seriously?" Dean demanded, but before he could get further than that, the other man had sprinted into the grocery store, leaving him confused and frustrated. He sighed, and got out of the car, locking it before making his way after Cas.  _  
  
_ It didn't take him long to find Cas, wandering through the aisles and tossing items haphazardly into the cart. He took one look at the contents, and shook his head. Apparently he was on auto-pilot, and Cas on auto-pilot was dumber than a bag of wet mice.  _  
  
_ He approached his friend, draping an arm around his shoulders. "Buddy, I know you said you were going to cook, but I'm kinda confused what you're planning on making with sriracha and a mango." He gave him a knowing look, and sighed.  __  
  
"Look, pretend I didn't say anything, okay?" he suggested. He wouldn't take it back, and he sure as hell wouldn't apologise, but he could do what he did best in these situations - and that was to ignore the problem.

 

_Castiel_

 

It took Castiel a moment to register what Dean was saying once his friend caught up with him and he tilted his head to look at the continence of his cart. He shrugged a little and studied the mango. "Prehaps a nice mango salsa and chicken dish." He murmured, more to himself, thinking about what he could actually make with hot chilli sauce and mango, it actually wasn't that terrible of a flavour combination, now he thought about it. The marshmallows he'd picked up somewhere were more perplexing though and no matter what he tried he couldn't find a way to tie them to the meal. Until his brain kicked in a little and pointed out he could use them for a desert.  _  
  
_ He glanced at Dean, and nodded firmly. "I like to pretend." He said in a very small voice, and that was that, he would say nothing more on the matter. Because he couldn't, he really just couldn't. __  
  
"Is there anything you feel like eating Dean?" He asked, and watched as a very pretty young lady pushed a cart past him, her eyes only glancing at him before getting locked on Dean. He sighed, even if he wanted to play at being straight, what chance did he have of finding a girl who was interested in him anyway?

 

_Dean_

 

Dean bit his lip, trying not to snigger. Cas probably could make an amazing dish out of the contents of the cart, just to prove to Dean that he wasn't throwing random shit into it. He was just that talented a cook! He turned his head, pecking Castiel's cheek. "You're an idiot," he said fondly.  _  
  
_ His smile faded, and he found himself hurting like hell. Cas could always fix his problems, and now Dean couldn't fix this for him.  _  
  
_ "Cas, can I ask you something?" Dean asked, and without waiting for confirmation from his friend, he went on to his next question. "You know I'm bi, right? You gonna tell me there's something wrong with that?"  _  
  
_ He ignored the girl checking him out. Right now, all he cared about was helping his bestie through this crisis. As nice as it would be to actually have a date, he had way too much to worry about right now without adding romance into the equation.  __  
  
He rolled his eyes, and said, "I dunno, that mango salsa and chicken sounds pretty good."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel stopped dead in the isle, turning over what Dean had just said in his head and then he turned an looked up at his friend. "You've never dated a man." He pointed out, because he wasn't sure if Dean was just trying to make him feel better or if he was telling the truth.  _  
  
_ He took a deep breath and frowned. "It is a sin Dean." He whispered softly, he hated that he couldn't shake what had been indoctrinated into him since birth, by his father, his mother, his sister, most of his brothers, all but one actually. And he hated now that he couldn't tell Dean how he felt, or support Dean in his choices, though he would never hate Dean the way his family would if they found out. He couldn't, not ever. He also couldn't believe that it made him a bad person, with evil in his heart and the mark of the devil on his soul. In fact Castiel had trouble believing a lot of what his parents preached at him. And yet he couldn't throw it off either. And it tore at him. _  
  
_ "Chicken and Mango salsa it is then." He decided, throwing some brown rice into the cart and heading for the fresh produce section to pick up the chicken and vegetables he'd need.  _  
  
_ "I would never tell you there's something wrong with who you are Dean. I love you. You know that." he whispered softly, not wanting to have this conversation at all, let along in a grocery store. But he had to let his best friend know that he didn't judge him, even if god would do one day.  __  
  
"But I will pray for your soul. I don't want you to end up in hell Dean, you're too good of a person for a place like that." He added sadly.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean gave Cas a bitch face worthy of his brother.  _  
  
_ "Remember that night I went out drinking and didn't come home?" he asked, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. Just because it hadn't been a date didn't mean it didn't count. One night stands apparently didn't factor into Castiel's innocent little brain.  _  
  
_ Dean flinched. Those words coming from his best friend's mouth felt like poison. "That's not you talking, Cas, it's your father," Dean insisted. His own father had been very homophobic, and he recognised the language. All that talk of it being "sinful" and "evil" just made his stomach churn in revulsion.  _  
  
_ "It's funny how even animals have same-sex relationships, but only humans try to drag God into the bedroom," he remarked, not wanting to badmouth his friend's religion, but at the same time he felt a real need to defend himself. __  
  
Dean continued the rest of their shopping in stony silence, not wanting to believe he just heard his sweet friend say those things. The urge to go knock the crap out of Castiel's dad was unbelievable, but he thought maybe he'd be better off having a quiet word with Gabriel, Castiel's older brother. He never seemed to give a fuck about anybody's rules, and maybe he could talk some sense into him.

 

_Castiel_

 

He knew he'd upset Dean and it tore him up inside, he felt like crying but he kept it all inside, he was good at that, he'd become used to it by now. Keeping everything secret and safe, like a one way mirror, he could see out at the world but the world couldn't see into him. It was his only real defensive mechanism. He rarely needed it around Dean, but tonight, tonight he crawled inside carefully and his face went blank and... safe. _  
  
_ "I've got everything i need Dean. Shall we go home?" He asked as he pushed the cart to the check out and watched quietly as the lady scanned his purchases and put them into brown paper bags, he frowned, he had meant to bring his canvas bags, but he'd forgot, too worried about feeding Dean and making sure his friend was okay. _  
  
_ "Thank you." He said politely as he handed over the money for the food and gave the woman a fake smile, taking the two bags of food and heading for the door of the shop.  __  
  
"Anna has told me I'm not welcome at her wedding without a date. I don't know what to do." He said sadly as he reached the car and looked at Dean helplessly. "I may have to ask Michael if he knows anyone from church who would go as my date." His face is blank, safe behind his one way mirror, but he was miserable, most of all, because he knew he'd upset Dean, and probably hurt him, when he was meant to be helping him.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean wordlessly took the two bags of shopping from Cas. If the guy insisted on paying for their food, he'd insist on carrying it for him. He remained silent until they got outside, when he turned to face Cas, his expression grim.  _  
  
_ "Could set you up with my friend Charlie. She's a redhead, real pretty. But don't worry, she's a lesbian. She won't hit on you," he said. He was livid that Castiel's family were forcing their values on his best friend, and as a result, he was too afraid to admit who he was. Dean was hurt that Cas thought he was sinful for being bi, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as knowing his bestie was suffering.  _  
  
_ He shifted the two bags of food to his left arm, and pulled his car keys out of his pocket. With an awkward bit of shimmying, he managed to unlock the car and open the door without dropping anything.  __  
  
"Cas, you remember the time I told my dad to go fuck himself with a cactus the last time he got drunk? I reckon you need to tell your dad the same thing. I know your family is important to you, but if they're that toxic and cruel that you can't admit who you are, you need to break away from them."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel grumbled as Dean took the bags, he was more than able to carry them. Still he knew it was no use arguing and simply slid into the passenger seat when Dean unlocked the car. _  
  
_ He thought about what Dean was saying, and he knew, he  _knew  _ his best friend was right. That the hatred his father spouted was disgusting and vile and needed to end with him. And yet he was scared, terrified in fact of breaking away from his family. Of coming out, of being who he knew inside that he was. And he simply wasn't strong enough. _  
  
_ "Things are fine the way they are Dean. Can you just leave it be. Please?" He begged quietly, as he watched the world go by the window on their way back to their home. Cas lost in thought, wondering if he should take Dean up on his offer of being set up with his friend, at least if she was also gay he wouldn't have to try and be... suave or whatever Gabriel had told him was needed to woo women. _  
  
_ As they arrived home, he got out and took the bags of groceries before Dean could beat him too it, and headed up stairs and into the house. He was in the kitchen, already unpacking when Dean finally caught up and he gave him a bashful look, his eyes showing just how sorry he was about laying his problems on Dean.  _  
  
_ "I am sorry Dean, you don't need my baggage tonight." He muttered as he began to cut up the chicken, keeping busy and when he cuts his finger, he hisses and puts down the knife with a sigh, moving to the sink and running the cut under water.  __  
  
"How long have you known?" He whispered softly as he watches his own blood running down the drain, it was a shallow cut but it was bleeding rather a bit.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean deposited the paper bags in the back seat and started the drive home, letting Cas think about his suggestion while he drove. When his friend finally spoke, it made Dean sigh. Maybe he was pushing him too hard.  _  
  
_ "Okay, okay ..." he said. "I'll drop it, but one of these days, you and me need to have a long and serious talk, you got it?"  _  
  
_ While he was okay with leaving the conversation for tonight, Dean was by no means going to let the topic drop permanently. He needed to help his friend out, no matter what.  _  
  
_ When they pulled up at their apartment block, Cas took the opportunity to take the bags and hurry off inside while Dean was locking up the car. He rolled his eyes, and made his way into the apartment, dropping his keys on the coffee table before he walked into the kitchen.  _  
  
_ He frowned, and was about to scold his friend for  _not  _ wanting to confide in him when he accidentally cut his finger.  _  
  
_ "Jesus, Cas!" Dean exclaimed, and grabbed the first aid kit while Cas cleaned the injury.  _  
  
_ "Since we were teenagers, Cas," he replied, rummaging through the kit for a band aid and some disinfectant. "As for your baggage, what's the point in me being your best friend if you can't talk to me when you need to?" __  
  
Once he had the bandaid ready, he said firmly to Cas, "Show me your hand. I hope you won't need stitches."

 

_Castiel_

 

Cas sighed as turned off the water, looking at the small cut on his finger and shook his head, turning to Dean and looking at him. _  
  
_ "It's fine Dean, it's just a small cut, I'll be fine." He assured him as he let Dean put the bandaid on his finger. Watching the man carefully wrap it around the wound.  _  
  
_ "Thank you Dean." He told him, once it was done and he sighed looking at Dean with sad eyes. _  
  
_ "I'm not ready yet Dean. I don't know if I ever will be. Please try to understand." He muttered, hanging his head before moving back to the chicken to finish cutting it up, before moving on to the vegies and putting on the wok and a pot of water to cook the rice. _  
  
_ "Dinner won't be far off." He told his friend and looked over his shoulder at him. He gave him a weak smile as he mixed the mango and chilli sauce, as well as some diced onion, herbs, salt, pepper, finely chopped chilli and some lime juice. __  
  
"I think I will talk with Michael. I need to do what's right." He decided, nodding to himself more than anyone else. Because lying to everyone, and himself was far less frightening than doing what he actually wanted was.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean scoffed, and carefully applied the bandaid to Castiel's finger. "You need to be more careful, buddy," he scolded. He put the first aid kit away, and let Cas get back to cooking.  _  
  
_ "I understand that your family has you so fucking scared that you don't want to come out, and that's okay. But don't lie to yourself, and sure as hell don't lie to me, got it?" he said, hoping that at the very least, his friend would have the courage to be honest with him.  _  
  
_ "Okay, I'll set the table," Dean said, pulling out plates for their meal. The smell of the food was making his stomach rumble loudly. "That smells freaking amazing, Cas!" he remarked, patting his belly.  __  
  
He turned around, looking shocked. "With Michael? You sure that's a good idea? Maybe you should talk to Gabriel first."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel drained the rice and shook his head. "No, Michael will be more likely to know a nice girl who will go to the wedding with me, maybe I can ask him to help me find an actual girlfriend. It is about time. I need to stop putting it off." He told Dean as he dished up the dinner. He sounded absolutely miserable, but determined.

 


	3. Dazed and Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley calls Dean ... but not to ask if his car is fixed.

_ Crowley _

 

He was sitting in his home office, a glass of scotch in his hand, he swirled it around the glass, watching the amber liquid as he pondered what to spend his evening doing. Honestly, now that he'd finished his work for the day, he was... lonely, and bored. He didn't often care about the former. In fact he mostly ignored it. Tonight however, he was struggling and he wasn't sure why. _   
  
_ He shifted in his seat and pulled his phone out of his pocket, turning it over in his hands a few times as he debated whether or not he should call the idiot who rear ended his damn car today. What had him pause is why his first thought, when thinking of what to do, was to call a twenty two year old mechanic who could offer him nothing but annoyance and frustration.  _   
  
_ And yet, as he flicked through his contacts and his eyes ran over the names there, he realised that the young man was the only one he felt like dialing right now. He hadn't thought ahead enough to know what he was going to say. Probably something horrible that will just make the man hate him a little more. Because that's what he did, he pushed people away till they couldn't stand him and he couldn't stand him. It made his job easy, but meant that he had very few friends, and no one ever stuck around long enough to fall for him. __   
  
Sighing heavily, he hit dial and put the cell to his ear, waiting to see if the man would answer, it was late, and most people would probably be sleeping, still, he felt the need to dial.

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean was in bed, his TV playing some old episode of Mythbusters while he tried to sleep. He was stressed to hell - not just because of the whole car situation, but also for Castiel's sake. He had given his word he'd drop the subject of Cas being about as straight as an S hook, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to give Gabriel a sneaky call tomorrow and ask him to have a chat with the guy.  _   
  
_ He was just getting lazy enough to drift off when his phone rang on the bedside table. He reached out and picked it up, looking at the name on the screen. He frowned deeply, wondering what the hell Crowley was playing at calling him this late at night.  _   
  
_ He hit answer, and pressed the phone to his ear.  __   
  
"Your car ain't fixed yet, dude," he said by way of greeting.

 

_ Crowley _

 

He snorted into his cell, chuckling a little at the greeting he received, because it was exactly how he expected the man to treat him. Why would he think he was calling for any other reason? _   
  
_ "Hello to you too love." His voice was husky, and lazy, worn from a heated call with a client earlier in the evening, and he was too tired to try and hide it. The whiskey wasn't helping either.  _   
  
_ "I wasn't calling about the car." He admitted, shrugging his shoulder even though the other couldn't see the gesture. _   
  
_ He leaned back in his expensive desk chair, letting his head fall back against head rest and closing his eyes.  _   
  
_ "Tell me something that will surprise me Dean Winchester." He had no idea why he wanted to just listen to the man talk, but as he owned the man's soul for at least a small about of time, until his car is fixed, he was going to take advantage of it. And if what that meant, was having someone to talk to who couldn't just tell him to fuck off, then that's what he'd take from him. __   
  
He listened down the line and wondered just what the man would come back at him with, maybe he would just tell him to fuck off. Crowley was used to that, he would deal with it the next day if he did. One way or another he would make sure Dean knew he owed him.

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean rolled his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was tired, stressed out, and completely unable to deal with Crowley's bullshit right now.  _   
  
_ "It's late, dude," he complained. He wasn't the only one who sounded tired. Crowley sounded just as worn out as he felt.  _   
  
_ He did a double take when informed that he wasn't calling about the car. What other reason would the guy have for calling him, especially at this hour of night?  _   
  
_ "O-kaaaaaaay ..." Dean said, his tone conveying how weirded out he was.  _   
  
_ "Something that will surprise you." He echoed the man's words, wondering just how drunk the guy must be. He shook his head, thinking the guy must be drunk, high, or maybe ... he might be lonely.  _   
  
_ Dean may have a tough guy persona, but he was a sucker for anyone in need of help.  __   
  
"Uhhh ... it might surprise you to know that sea otters hold hands when they go to sleep. It's so they don't drift apart from each other," he said. If information about cute animals doing cute shit wasn't enough for the guy, Dean didn't know what else he needed.

 

_ Crowley _

 

Crowley snorted out a laugh of surprise, chuckling quietly at the fun fact the man had given him.  _   
  
_ "How do you even know that?" He asked, clearly amused. He took a sip of his whiskey, finishing off the glass and putting it absently on the desk in front of him.  _   
  
_ "It's late, and yet you answer the phone. Stop complaining." he added, tone one that suggested he didn't care how late it was, if the man was willing to answer the phone, then the point was moot already. _   
  
_ He was silent for a moment, not sure what else to say, because he honestly wasn't sure why he had called in the first place.  _   
  
_ "So Otter's huh?" He asked, "Why Otters?" _   
  
_ Okay, so he'd perhaps had too much whiskey to be holding an intelligent conversation, still, he just wanted to listen to someone else talk for a change, his whole world was him talking at people, about people, over people. Rarely did he talk  _ with _ people.  __   
  
"Done any more speeding lately?" He teased when all else failed him, and he could think of nothing at all to say, he turned to the one thing they had tying them together.

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean shrugged, and picked up his alarm clock, checking the time. He flopped back onto his pillow, exasperated that he was even entertaining this insane conversation right now.  _   
  
_ "I saw it on the Discovery Channel. Thought it was cute," Dean explained, wondering why he wasn't just telling Crowley to piss off and let him sleep.  _   
  
_ "Yeah, because people ringing this late tend to have an emergency or a problem - not because they want facts about otters!" he protested.  _   
  
_ Dean blushed, glad that nobody could see his face right now. "They're cute," he said by way of explanation, like that explained everything. "I like otters. It's no big deal." He grumbled, sure the man was going to make fun of him for this.  _   
  
_ He groaned at his next question, and snapped, "No! I've kept to the speed limit, thanks for asking!"  __   
  
He still wasn't sure why he was continuing this conversation, but morbid curiosity pushed him to ask something he had wondered all day. "So, what do you do for a living, Crowley? Business or something?"

 

_ Crowley _

 

"The Discovery Channel, Ahh I see." He chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, sighing softly down the phone. He was almost drunk enough to think that the man was adorable, for thinking that otters are cute. He also thought he was a pussy for admitting it, but he wasn't in the mood to make fun of him. For once he just wanted to let the bullshit drop and just talk to someone. _   
  
_ "No emergency no, wait, you have caller ID right? You cared enough to make sure I didn't have an emergency?" He pointed out, both eyebrows raising in mild surprise. "Oh god, you're a do gooder aren't you!" he continued, chuckling with a grin. _   
  
_ "Otters aren't the only ones that are cute." he murmured, more to himself than anyone else, but he was just drunk enough and tired enough that his volume control wasn't as controlled as normal. So he's almost certain the man hears it. _   
  
_ "Hmm good, speeding is bad." Crowley agreed, lazily, as he stands and moves through his large pent house apartment, to his bedroom and throws himself onto his bed with a huff, pulling off his shoes and then his tie, his jacket he'd removed when he'd come home. __   
  
"I'm a lawyer." He muttered down the phone. Really not wanting to talk about what he did. It was not a job that bought you a lot of friends.

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean blushed, feeling very embarrassed now. He got enough shit from his brother for watching what he called "cute animal shows", now he was probably going to get it from suit guy. He covered his eyes with his free hand, inwardly groaning at how stupid he was being.  _   
  
_ "Yeah, well ... I  _ did _ hit your car earlier. I was kinda worried I might have done some damage," he said. And that was true. Ever since he saw Crowley rubbing his neck after the crash, he had worried that he had been hurt. "So what if I am?" Dean protested. "Nothing wrong with helping people!"  _   
  
_ His brow furrowed in confusion. He couldn't possibly have heard that right. Crowley couldn't be implying he thought he was cute, could he? "Okay, dude, gonna pretend I didn't hear that," Dean said cheerfully, and sat up, getting off the bed. He could tell this conversation was going to continue for a while, and he needed to pace.  _   
  
_ "Ahh ... let me guess, you got some crazy awesome pain pills after the crash. That's why you're calling me and talking crap to me," Dean said, assuming he was correct. He shrugged his shoulders, and figured he owed the guy at least that much if it was his fault he was hurt. "You should be relaxing and letting the pills do their job, dude."  __   
  
He raised his eyebrows, rather surprised to learn he was a lawyer. "That so?" he asked. "My kid brother wants to be a lawyer. He's planning on going to Stanford."

 

_ Crowley _

 

Crowley snorted and looked up at his dark ceiling, he'd not bothered to turn on the light. He liked the dark anyway, it was peaceful and he was really not in a good mood, so he needed peaceful.  _   
  
_ "I'm fine, takes a little more than a shove up the arse to do damage to me." He snorted, twisting his neck from side to side, pain shooting through his spine as he winced. And yes he was lying, but he was a lawyer, it was watch he did.  _   
  
_ "Ignore I said what exactly?" He rubbed his forehead, not sure what it was he'd said that had gained him that reaction, he wasn't in a position to focus on what was being said for much longer than a few moments. So the man was going to have to explain that one to him. _   
  
_ He sat up and crossed his legs, pulling off his socks and sighing, shaking his head. "I don't do pills sweetheart. I don't like not being in control." He told Dean honestly, why it mattered that the man knew this about him, he wasn't sure, but he'd said it now, whether the man believed him, who knew. _   
  
_ "And I didn't go the hospital or doctor, I'm fine." He huffed as he fell back onto the bed.  __   
  
"That so? Should tell him to go to Oxford, much better institution if you ask me." He was English, he would always think his old alma mater was better than all others. "What sort of law does he plan to practice?" He asked, because perhaps he could in the future make sure the kid gets a head start. It might be time for him to pay it forward a little. Not that he planned to let the man on the phone know his thoughts about it.

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean couldn't help chuckling at that. "Dude, you are so  _ British _ , it's hilarious," he teased. "Go on, say  _ arse _ again. Sounds so weird when I say it." A moment later, he was mentally slapping himself. Teasing would always lead to flirting, and the last thing he wanted was to flirt with a guy he owed a huge favour to.  _   
  
_ He shook his head, and when he remembered that Crowley couldn't see him, he said, "Never mind!" If the guy had forgotten it already, it could only be a good thing. Dean was determined that this guy would be out of his life as soon as he finished fixing his car. He would  _ not _ remind the guy that he all but called him cute.  _   
  
_ Dean picked his socks up from the floor and tossed them in the laundry hamper in the corner, just for something to do while he let Crowley to talk. "But if you need them for pain, surely you should take something, right? I mean, Tylenol ain't about to mess up your brain," he pointed out, frowning at the thought of him being in pain. "You should have gone to a doctor at least, dude."  _   
  
_ He laughed then. Oxford? Sweet Jesus, Dean and his mom could barely afford the cost of moving Sam to Stanford. The kid had applied for a scholarship, and if he didn't get it, Dean was going to sell his car. It would break his heart, but Sam not getting to live his dream would hurt him more.  _   
  
_ "He's got the brains for Oxford, but we don't have the moolah to send him there," Dean explained. "Dunno. All I know is he goes on about wanting to  __ help people ." He was too tired to remember whether or not Sam had mentioned environmental law or human rights. Either way, Dean would be proud of him.

 

_ Crowley _

 

"Of course I'm British you twat! I..." He stopped and barked a laugh. Not sure if he's amused or insulted, or whether he should humor the man, so he decides to meet him half way. _   
  
_ "You want me to say the word arse again?" He teased, still chuckling, the smirk on his face was a little cocky. "It sounds odd when you say it because American's can't speak English." He teased wickedly as he rolls onto his side and props himself up on an elbow, head resting in his hand. _   
  
_ He lets out a frustrated sigh and growled down the line, trying to make the man drop the subject. "I said I'm fine Mother! Careful, I'll start thinking you care." He added at the end, the warning clear, or at least he hoped so, he wasn't sure if this guy was intelligent enough to figure it out or not. _   
  
_ "I don't like doctors." He muttered and then sat up, for some reason he was unable to just stay still, even though he was exhausted and knew he should sleep. _   
  
_ "Standford is a decent university and their law program is decent." He admitted when the man mentioned his family didn't have the money for Oxford, for once he didn't throw his money in someone's face, he wasn't even sure why. He just let it slide away and his tone held no judgement. Until he snorted a laugh and shook his head. __   
  
"Fancy that, a lawyer who wants to help people. Can't say I've met one." His derision clear, the bitterness was strong in his tone, and the only person he was really thinking about was himself. He was brilliant at his job, and ninety percent of the time, it didn't bother him that he was putting clearly guilty people back on the streets, the price was always right. Talking to this man though, who had answered the phone just to make sure he was okay, he felt something close to ashamed of himself. Though he'd never admit it.

 

_ Dean _

 

"Yeah, I could kinda tell, dude," Dean teased. "That whole stiff upper lip thing gave you away. That and the accent!"  _   
  
_ He kind of wished Cas was awake. He could do with discussing this phone call with him right now, but Dean wasn't about to wake the guy up. Cas always woke early to get to the bakery and start preparing all those amazing pastries. His mouth watered at the mere thought of the crescent rolls Cas could make ... maybe he really would stop by the bakery in the morning before work.  _   
  
_ "There, you just said it!" Dean laughed, highly amused by the way Crowley pronounced the word. "Damn right we can't. We speak  _ American _ English. We took your crappy language and improved it."  _   
  
_ He was treading a dangerous line, and he fucking knew it. It was far too easy to find Crowley charming right now, and Dean would be the first to admit he had serious daddy issues. Any time he hooked up with a guy, he was always older than him. Crowley would be just his type if he was stupid enough to let himself think things like that.  _   
  
_ Which he wasn't.  _   
  
_ "Nothing wrong with caring about people, Crowley," Dean said sternly. "And I don't care if you don't like doctors, you still should have had yourself checked out by someone."  _   
  
_ Dean grinned bashfully. Sammy was doing him proud without the kid having to do a thing right now. If a slick lawyer like Crowley said that Stanford would give his brother a good education, he couldn't be lying.  _   
  
_ "He's real excited about Stanford. We're hoping he's gonna get a full ride so he won't have to pay for it. It'd devastate the kid if he didn't get in, but if it means I have to sell my car so he can go, that's what I'll do ... and why the hell am I bugging you with all this?" Dean shook his head, realising he was revealing far too much about himself and his family to a perfect stranger. "Sorry man, I shouldn't have dropped that on you."  __   
  
Mortified, he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh. "What are you talking about? All lawyers do is help people. They get a bad rep, but they're just doing a job. Bet you've met tonnes of really nice lawyers, but you just can't admit it. Am I right?"

 

_ Crowley _

 

"Wonderful deductive skills there pet." He teased with a roll of his eyes, even though the other man couldn't see the action, he thought it was warranted. "Oh brilliant, you're one of  _ those _ American's," he sighed heavily, exaggerating the expression so the mechanic would be sure to hear it. _   
  
_ "Yes you arse, I said it. Are you happy now?" He repeated the word, because the laugh he got from the man was something he thought he could grow used too, even if he knew realistically he had no chance in hell of keeping that laugh in his life for very long. He decided he'd appreciate it while he could. _   
  
_ "Alright, how about you come over here and check me over then pet, I'll show you just how alright I am." He couldn't help it, the man had just opened himself up to it too easily, and Crowley wouldn't be Crowley if he didn't jump on that juice offering. "No? Well then how about you drop it then princess, I'm fine." He adds after a moment, because honestly, he would like this conversation not to die in the arse suddenly because he hit on the man, who was more than likely straight. _   
  
_ His brow furrowed, and his lips turned down in the corners, shame budding in his mind, but he pushed it down forcefully, he would not let this man make him feel bad about himself.  _   
  
_ "What's your brothers given name?" He asked, shuffling off the bed and into his office again, grabbing a pen and a note pad. He had some colleagues who had attended Stanford Law, he was sure he could make sure a good word got to the right people with a bit of work.  _   
  
_ "Bug away, got nothing better to do, should sleep, can't though, so might as well listen, can't promise I'll give a damn though." He told the man softly, being honest... sort of. He cared more than he should, and he couldn't figure out why he gave a damn at all. __   
  
"Sorry love, hate to disappoint you, but I don't help anyone who deserves helping. And I am definitely not a good man." He said as he sat down at his desk, writing out a few notes on contacting someone at Stanford who was on the board of scholarships. 

 

_ Dean _

 

Dean shook his head, chuckling. "Easy, tiger. I promise I'm not one of  _ those _ Americans. You're just fun to annoy."  _   
  
_ It was getting way too risky for Dean's liking now. He was perilously close to actually flirting with the guy, and he was sure it was a combination of sleepiness and the stress of the day causing him to make bad decisions.  _   
  
_ He burst out laughing as soon as Crowley said "arse" again, hugely amused by the way it rolled off his tongue. "Yeah, real happy!" he said.  _   
  
_ Dean's stomach lurched as soon as Crowley suggested he come over. If he didn't owe the guy a huge favour, and that huge favour didn't involve the threat of legal proceedings, he would have asked for an address. It had been ages since he had last been laid, and he was pretty sure Crowley would make the trip worth his while, but he couldn't complicate things. Not right now. _   
  
_ "Sure, let me just throw on my nurse outfit and I'll be right there!" Dean teased, figuring humour was the easiest way out of that conversation without outing himself, or insulting the man.  _   
  
_ "Sammy," he said. "But on paper, he's Samuel Winchester." He wasn't sure why he was supplying Crowley with that information, but he assumed Crowley was just showing a polite interest.  _   
  
_ Dean snorted. Of course Crowley didn't give a damn. He'd be deluding himself if he thought otherwise, but it was nice to actually talk to someone new about his life. "You sure I ain't keeping you from your bed?" he asked, the note of worry in his tone obvious.  _   
  
_ He scoffed then. In his book, everyone had a right to a fair trial, regardless of their alleged crime. Maybe it was his previous brush with the law that made him think that, and how grateful he had been to the lawyer that got him out of his DUI trial with his license intact.  __   
  
"Bullshit. Someone needs a lawyer, you're helping them. Doesn't matter if they're innocent or guilty, you're helping them," he said firmly.

 

_ Crowley _

 

An hour later when Crowley finally hung up the phone, he looked at his note pad and scowled, wondering just what he was thinking, why he had called in the first place or why he had wanted to just keep talking to the man. _   
  
_ He stood, turned off the lamp on his desk and moved to his room, he fell into bed and was asleep within moments, his mind focused on someone whom he should never even have met, let alone given a shit about...  __   
  
Yet it was hard not to care. The man was... a conundrum. One that Crowley wasn't sure how to handle.

 


	4. Tastes Like Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After last night's phone call with Crowley, Dean decides to visit Cas in his bakery.

Dean woke up the next morning and made his way straight to the shower. Cas was already in work by now, and to be honest, he was glad to have some time to himself to figure out what the hell went on last night. Spending more than an hour on the phone with a guy he, by rights, should have hated was playing merry hell with his mind. 

He couldn't deny that Crowley was a charming son of a bitch when he wanted to be. He was handsome enough, and the memory of that sharp suit of his made Dean growl with frustration.

He would not get a boner thinking about the guy. 

He was a jerk that he owed a favour to, nothing more. 

He finished his shower and got dressed, deciding that he'd wear his work shirt today, the one with his name embroidered on the chest, and the words "Singer's Garage" proudly printed on the back. He threw it on over a pair of jeans that were well worn at the knee, and cursed when he realised they had developed a couple of rips. 

He was planning on stopping by the bakery, and he didn't have time to mend them right now. He shrugged his shoulders, deciding that he wasn't trying to impress anyone today, and wore them anyway. 

The bakery was on the way to the garage, and he thought a box of doughnuts would go some way to apologising to Bobby for his fuck-up yesterday. He pulled up outside and sauntered into the bakery, spotting Cas behind the counter straight away. 

He grinned, and walked right up to him. 

"Woah, you wear a dorky hat like that and you still told me to visit you in work? You do know I'm going to give you endless shit for this, yeah?" he teased, gesturing at the cute hat Cas was wearing. The apron he could understand, but the hat was too much. 

 

Castiel

 

Castiel was behind the counter, big smile on his face, he loved his work and he loved that the food he baked was able to bring a smile to so many peoples faces. It really made him feel good about himself. He had a little flour on one cheek and his eyes were sparkling as he talked apple pie recipes to a lovely old lady who came in every Wednesday morning for coffee and a piece of pie.

He was just waving her out the door when Dean come in and he looked up at him, beaming, surprised and happy to see his best friend walk into his shop. It was something he'd been trying to get Dean to do for the past three years since he opened the place. 

"Dean!" He said as he fiddled with the hat in question, blushing and looking defiant all at the same time. "What's wrong with my hat!" He demanded, but he was laughing. 

"You finally came, what changed your mind?" He asked with a grin as he pulled out a giant apple pie and cut of a large slice, putting it on a plate and offering it to Dean, he'd make the man a coffee once he took the pie. 

"Sit, I'll come join you." He offered with a nod toward one of the three small table and chairs he kept in the place for the few customers he had who liked to sit in and eat their cake or treat and have a chat. 

 

Dean

 

If Dean hadn't loved Cas like a brother, he could have fallen in love just with the smile on his face right now. He'd never seen him looking so carefree and happy, and he wished with all his heart that he'd see Cas looking like this all the time in future. 

Dean chuckled, and reached out, flicking Castiel's ridiculous hat. "Everything? But I suppose it's kinda cute on you. The apron could do with more frills, though. It's not nearly girly enough for you," he mocked gently, grinning away to himself. 

"I figured I'd pick up a box of doughnuts for the guys in work," he explained. "And you make the best doughnuts ever." 

He practically whimpered at the sight of the apple pie Cas produced. 

"Dude, that pie looks so good it should be illegal," Dean whined, but he took the plate without complaint. He checked his watch, and by his guess he had time to have some pie with his best friend. He grinned, and carried his plate over to the table closest to the window. 

 

Castiel

 

Cas laughed and rolled his eyes at Dean. "I am not a girl Dean, my apron is just as frilly as it needs to be," he replied. He still hadn't ever really learned to grasp the idea of sarcasm, at least not really, which was saying something, considering he lived with Dean Winchester. 

"Doughnuts I can do," he agreed with a nod, moving behind the counter again to make some coffee for his friend, black and strong, the way the man liked it. And then he joined him at the table.

"You want Iced, sugared or powdered? Or a mix of all three?" he asked as he set the coffee down beside Dean and sat down across from him.

"So, doughnuts, you trying to make it up to Bobby with my baked goods?" he teased, but there was a kindness behind it, like there normally was with Castiel. 

"You were up late, I got up to go toilet and your light was still on. Everything okay?" he asked as he sat down and sipped at his own coffee. 

 

Dean

 

Dean scoffed, and patted Cas on the shoulder. For a man with his sense of humour, having it fly over his friend's head just made everything even funnier. 

"Don't ever change, Cas," he said fondly. 

He took the cup of coffee with a murmured thanks, sipping it and sighing like it was the nectar of the gods. 

"Make it a mix. The guys like variety, if their taste in scantily clad ladies is anything to go by!" he remarked. The guys in the garage had a number of calendars on the wall, almost all of them featuring babes in bikinis posing on cars. Everyone had their own calendar, so they could keep track of when orders were due in, and also when a vehicle was expected to be finished. Dean's, on the other hand, was a calendar from the TV show Doctor Sexy. It was a gag gift from Sam last Christmas, but Dean proudly put it up on the wall in work. 

"Well, yeah!" Dean said, looking at Cas like he might be a bit dense. "If your cooking can't butter him up after yesterday, I know I'm in real trouble." 

He couldn't help it - he blushed. He hadn't expected Cas to notice he had been up late. He had been so sure that he had kept the volume down, not wanting to wake him. Apparently his bladder had done that all on its own. 

"Yeah, I uh ..." he trailed off, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Crowley called me." 

He took the opportunity to stab the pie with his fork, and shove a large piece of it into his mouth. All embarrassment evaporated as the pie all but melted on his tongue, and Dean let out an almost sinful moan. Holy shit, but Cas could bake! 

"Damn, Cas ... you'll make someone an awesome wife some day," he mumbled around a mouthful of pie. 

 

Castiel

 

Castiel laughed as he watched his friend try the pie, shaking his head, it really was silly how much Dean liked pie, and as often as Cas brought him home stuff left over at the end of the day, Dean seemed to react like it was the first time he'd tried his baking. It was touching, really, and always left Cas in a good mood.

"I am not a woman Dean," he huffed, feeling the need for the second time that morning to remind Dean of his gender. 

"Therefore, I will not be making anyone a wife of any kind," he added with a slightly confused look on his face, head tilted as he tried to decide why Dean kept referring to him as a woman today. Perhaps it was his way of trying to make Castiel comfortable with his sexuality, sadly, Cas doubted it would work. He doubted he'd ever accept he was gay. He simply couldn't, he'd decided to go back to ignoring it completely.

"A mix it is," he agreed with a grin and stood to get the doughnuts ready before he paused when he realised what Dean had said. "Wait, Crowley? That is the man who owns the Lexus? What did he want so late at night?" he asked, frowning, worried the man had made demands of Dean he had no right making. He was already being a bastard in Cas' eyes asking Dean to pay for his repairs.

"And I'll come by the garage today, give Bobby whatever it will cost to fix up the impala," he added quietly, firmly, no room for Dean to wiggle out, though he was sure his friend would try. 

 

Dean

 

"You're pretty enough to be a woman," Dean teased. "Especially in that apron." 

It was how Dean treated both his brothers - whether that brother was Sam, or Cas. It didn't matter to him that he wasn't related to Cas, in his mind he was a brother as sure as Sammy was. It also helped that his Mom treated Cas like a long-lost son any time he came by.

He rolled his eyes fondly, and took another sip of his coffee. "I know I said you shouldn't ever change, buddy, but maybe you need to develop a sense for sarcasm, yeah?" he suggested, raising his eyebrows. 

He sighed. He should have known this was coming. There was no way he'd get out of mentioning his phone call with Crowley last night without Cas asking questions. 

"I think he was a bit drunk," Dean confessed. "He just wanted to ... talk." He shrugged his shoulders and took another mouthful of coffee, hoping the cup would hide the warmth flooding his cheeks. 

He clenched his jaw then, still very unhappy about his friend paying to fix his car, but he justified it in his mind, telling himself he'd work out a reasonable way to pay him back. 

 

Castiel

 

"Dean, we have talked about this, I simply don't understand sarcasm," he said, frowning as he moved about getting a dozen doughnuts for Dean and his co-workers.

"So he called you up just to talk?" he asked, clearly surprised, and then frowned. "And you just... humoured him?" Castiel really wasn't understanding his best friend today. But he would do his best to try. 

He packaged the doughnuts to go, served a young woman who came in to buy bread and an old man who wanted some walnut and apple loaf. Once he was done he sat back down with Dean and studied his friend. 

"You like him don't you!" he exclaimed when he noticed the redness on Dean's cheeks and wondered how and why that could even be slightly possible. "What in the world did he say to you last night to bring you around to the point you blush when you think of him!"

Fights the words of his father screaming around his head. He refused to make Dean feel bad about his feelings, or about liking men as well as women. He was not his father, even if he couldn't escape the battle going on inside him. He did not need to bring his demons to Dean to battle too. 

 

Dean

 

Dean grinned broadly. "I know you don't. It's kinda cute that you don't get it." He added with a sly smirk, "Even Sammy says so!" 

It was painfully below the belt for him to use Sam as a weapon, no matter how true it was. Sam really had remarked on how cute Cas was when he didn't get Dean's sarcasm, and Dean had gleefully tormented Sam for the rest of the day, telling his little brother that he'd organise a wedding for him and Cas in no time at all. It had resulted in Sam giving Dean a dead arm and his mom gently but firmly telling him to leave the kid alone. 

"He seemed kinda lonely. Guess money doesn't really buy you happiness." He shrugged his shoulders, not sure how to explain himself. By rights, he should have kept things strictly professional between them. He should really have informed Crowley that he needed to get to sleep so he could fix his car in the morning, but Dean's soft heart wouldn't let him. 

He finished his pie while Cas served some customers, but his blush didn't go away in the meantime. All he could think of now was how much Crowley's life must suck if he was calling him just to talk. 

"What?!" Dean exclaimed. "Okay, I'll admit he was kinda charming on the phone, and he made me laugh, but I don't like the guy. He's still a rich douchebag, yeah? And it takes a lot more than one phone call to make me like a dude." 

 

Castiel

 

Castiel baulked at the mention of Sammy, and turned scarlet, not sure what to make of that comment. He glared at Dean, because that was just cruel to use his brother against him like that. "Sam thinks no such thing," he insisted as he cleared his throat, which had suddenly gone rather dry, and looked out the window while he collected his thoughts.

"I hope you told him that if he wanted a friend to speak with, he shouldn't be asking someone to pay for something they can't afford, when he can easily afford it." Castiel really hated rich people who were tight with their money, it reminded him far too much of his father. 

"He made you laugh?" He raised an eyebrow, surprised by this. "Just be careful Dean, charming does not mean he is a good person, I don't want you to get hurt. Just, keep your guard up, okay?" he warned his friend, as a stream of people entered the store and he stood, smiling at Dean and squeezing his shoulder.

"I should get back to work. Have a good day, and I'll see you tonight, I'm cooking again." He offered, and before Dean could protest he was off and serving his customers, happy smile on his face as he did so.


	5. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean picks Sammy up for a night of Chinese food and crap movies in his apartment with Castiel. 
> 
> Things do not go as planned.

_ Dean _

 

Dean stood back, and wiped some oil from his hands with an old rag. The Lexus was looking almost brand new again. All it needed was a replacement rear light, and it was all good to go. He almost wished he had a camera phone so he could send Crowley a photo of the car, to prove to him it was on the way to perfection once more.    
  
He was unsurprised that he hadn't heard from the guy since the random phone call the other night. Crowley had almost definitely been drunk, and in all likelihood he regretted the call as a result. Dean could see that. He was guilty of drunk dialling people in the past - usually Sam so he could slur down the phone how proud he was of him.    
  
Still, he realised it had been three days since he acquired Crowley's car, and he'd probably be expecting an update.   
  
Dean took out his cell phone, and tapped out a quick message to him.    
  
** "OTTER FACT OF THE DAY: Sea otters have a pouch they use for storing their favourite rock. They use the rock for opening clams, and sometimes just to play with. P.S. your car is nearly finished."  **   
  
He hit send, and heard Bobby yelling at him to either get out or lock the place up himself. He chuckled, and dropped his phone back in his pocket.    
  
"Okay, Bobby! See you on Monday!" he called out, and went out front to his car. She was still all patched up with duct tape, but thanks to Cas, he had replacement parts on the way.    
  
He slid into the driver's seat, and hit play on the cassette deck. He knew it was ancient and old fashioned, but Dean had a fondness for older technology. It had a charm that modern CDs and MP3 players couldn't match.    
  
Classic rock blared out over the speakers, and Dean pulled out of the parking lot. It was Friday night, and for Dean Winchester that meant only one thing - picking up his kid brother from his SAT prep course, and having dinner with their mom.

 

_Crowley_

 

Sat at his desk on Friday evening, not having thought of heading home yet, he saw his phone light up off to the left and he threw it a look of contempt as he picked it up. He and his phone were not friends right now. _  
  
_ The message and the person it was from surprised him though and he chuckled, unable to help himself. He quickly typed out a response and sent it. _  
  
**"You should talk to someone about your otter obsession, I'm beginning to think it's at an unhealthy level. Let me know when I can pick up the car.**   
  
**Crowley"** _

 

_Dean_

 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, informing him there was a new message, but Dean ignored it for now. He had learned his lesson about dangerous driving, and he wasn't about to risk hurting his baby again by doing something stupid behind the wheel.  _  
  
_ He drove for nearly half an hour, singing along to AC/DC as he went. Sam's SAT prep course would let out in five minutes, and he pulled up outside the building just in time to pick him up. As soon as he was safely parked, he took his phone from his pocket, and read Crowley's reply.  _  
  
_ He had to laugh. At least the guy remembered the mention of otters during his drunken phone call!  _  
  
_ He tapped out a response while he waited for Sam.  _  
  
_ ** " _The car should be ready Monday afternoon. She's looking great, I promise. And I can give you squirrel facts if you prefer? There are over 265 species of squirrel worldwide. The smallest is the African pygmy squirrel which is tiny at around 4 inches long, whereas the largest is the Indian giant squirrel, which is a massive three feet long._ " **

 

_Crowley_

 

Crowley picked up his phone, reading the text and rolling his eyes, chuckling. Of course the man had other wonderful facts about other cute animals. Crowley was in over his head here, but nothing would come of it, so what did it matter. _  
  
**"Cute, really, you're cute. Now hush and fix my car."**   
  
_ He sent as a return text, wondering if he should be worried about the fact that he actually meant it. That reminded him, he had to get back to his contact at Stanford, he'd arranged a brunch meeting with them for Saturday morning.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam was done with his class and he was already heading down toward the foot path where he knew Dean would be waiting. As he turned the corner the Impala came into view and he sent a wave Dean's way as he gave Jess a hug goodbye and headed to the car, climbing into the passenger seat.  
  
"Dean! What the hell happened to the car?" He asked as way of greeting, shocked to see the front of the car taped up and busted up.   
  
"Are you alright?" Because clearly his brother had been in an accident.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean bit his lip, surprised by the sudden feeling of butterflies in his stomach when his phone lit up barely moments later. He opened the message, and blushed bright red. 

  
"Cute."  
  
That was the second time Crowley had called him cute, and this time, Dean was pretty sure he meant it.   
  
Before he could think about what a bad idea this was, he was rapidly tapping out a reply with his thumbs.   
  
 **" _Call me cute all you like, it won't make the headlights arrive any faster. But, really - call me cute all you like._ "**  
  
He hesitated, wondering should he add a winking emoji to the end of that message, but Sam chose that moment to open the passenger door, and Dean hit "send" out of sheer panic.   
  
He dropped his phone back in his pocket, hoping Sam would either not notice or misinterpret his blushing as embarrassment about his car.   
  
"Yeah, Sammy, I'm fine. Promise! Just had a bit of a fender bender, that's all. Rear ended another car! But don't worry, baby will be back to her former glory in no time at all."

 

_Sam_

 

Sam gave his brother a weird look and raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Why are you blushing?" he asked, his brother was redder than he'd ever seen him, not that Dean blushed often to be honest.  
  
"Ready to head to mom's! You know she's going to give you an ear-full for this right?" he pointed out, talking about the car. Because yeah, his mother was going to give him a lecture and a half about safe driving, Sam just knew it.  
  
"And don't call me Sammy, Dean!" he added with a groan. He hated being called Sammy, and he had to put up with it from both his brother and his mother. "Sammy is a girl's name," he grumped, sighing as he ran a hand through his long hair.   
  
Then he remembered his mom had told him to tell Dean something. "Mom can't make it for dinner tonight, she has a date!" Sam looked at Dean gleefully. "So we might as well just head straight to yours. I have my stuff for the weekend with me."  
  
His mother hadn't had a date in years, and as much as she had not wanted to miss Friday night dinner, Sam had convinced her she should go and enjoy her self for a change. He just hoped the man was decent. She seemed to think he was, so for now that was good enough.

 

_Dean_

 

"Because you're picking on my baby! You'll hurt her feelings! It ain't her fault she's a mess right now," Dean protested, laying it on thick. He'd be goddamned if he was going to tell his kid brother he was blushing because he had just flirted with a thirty-something year old lawyer by text.   
  
Dean groaned, and turned the key in the ignition. "Great. Just peachy! I already got chewed out by Bobby for this. I don't need two people telling me they're not mad, just disappointed."   
  
He reached out and ruffled Sam's long hair before pulling away from the kerb. "If you don't want to be called a girl's name, don't wear your damn hair so long," he advised, chuckling as he started in the direction of their mother's home.   
  
"What?" Dean asked, looking at Sam in shock before he remembered he should pay closer attention to the road. "You couldn't have told me that before I started driving this way?" he grumped, and waited until traffic was clear before doing a u-turn.   
  
"So, how does takeout sound tonight? You, me, some moo shu pork and enough MSG to knock out a buffalo. Sound good?" he suggested.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam laughed at his brother's cover-up for his blush, not buying it for a moment. "Whatever dude, don't tell me, I'll find out anyway, I'll just ask Cas," he teased with a wicked grin. 

  
He smacked Dean's hand away and smoothed down his hair, grumbling. "Stop it dude, and I like my hair as it is. Jess says it looks good, so you can stick it," he retorted. "And it doesn't make me a girl! Every band you listen to, Dean, has men with hair longer than mine, and you're giving me shit?" he pointed out, feeling pretty good about that comeback.  
  
"Yeah, sorry, I forgot, the red on your face distracted me!" he replied with a cocky smirk. "She's pretty excited about it though. Hope it goes well, she deserves to be happy," he told his brother, looking out the window as they drove.  
  
"Yeah Chinese sounds good," he agreed, he was in the mood for take out anyway. He only ever got it when he came to stay with Dean, so it was a nice treat.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean raised an eyebrow and risked a glance at his brother. "Stone cold, Sammy," he remarked. Sam had always had a ruthless streak, for all his innocent puppy dog eyes and sweet nature. "I'm kinda proud of you!"  
  
His stomach dropped at the mention of Jess. He couldn't tell if Jess was Sam's best friend, or his  _girl_ friend, and that bugged him. If she was just a friend, that was fine and dandy, but if she was his girlfriend, well ... that would break Castiel's closeted little heart.   
  
"Hey, don't you diss the kings of mullet rock," Dean scolded, pointing at his brother. "Until your hair is longer than James Hetfield's when they released the black album, your hair is still girly."   
  
He rolled his eyes. Sam could be like a dog with a bone when it came to teasing him.   
  
"Easily distracted, ain't ya?" Dean mocked. "That won't help you on your SATs, if you get distracted by people with red faces. You're gonna have to work on that! Maybe we can get you into an extra seven prep classes, one for every day of the week, yeah?"   
  
He chuckled, and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. It was so easy to slip into their old banter. They could rip the hell out of each other all day every day, but they always knew what would cross the line.   
  
"Maybe Cas has some pie left over," Dean added, glancing surreptitiously at Sam for any reaction to Castiel's name.

 

_Sam_

 

"Wait, so my hair isn't  _long_  enough? That's what you're going with. Dude that doesn't even make sense!" he berated with a sceptical chuckle as they headed into the city and closer to Dean's place.   
  
"We stopping for food on the way or just getting it delivered?" He asked as they travelled, he nodded along absently to Metallica's " _Enter Sandman_ ", a song he actually really liked.   
  
He snorted and turned to give Dean a bitch face. "I can't do extra classes Dean! I have a job you know. I have to work four afternoons a week. And I'm not distracted by red faces, just yours when you're clearly hiding shit from me!" he teased, with a knowing look that he was sure came across as arrogant, but that's what he was going for, so it was okay.  
  
"Oh man, I hope so! I friggin' love Cas' pie," Sam replied, beaming at the thought of it. "Hey do you think he'd bake a cake for Jess' birthday? It's coming up soon, and I told her mom I'd handle the cake." He looked sheepish and shrugged. "Figured, him being a baker and all, he might not mind."

 

_Dean_

 

"It makes perfect sense!" Dean protested, spluttering at his brother. "James Hetfield was a mighty viking of a man back then, nothing girly about his hair!"  _  
  
_ Traffic was light, so the journey back to his apartment didn't take too long. "Dude, we'll get it delivered. Besides, if Cas is home, I want to ask him does he want food," Dean said. He frowned, and added, "Actually, why don't you text him and ask does he want Chinese food tonight? Just in case he's already cooked for himself."  _  
  
_ He bit his lip, trying to stifle his laughter. "Awww, come on! You could easily handle extra classes when you wanted those guitar lessons, remember?" He shook his head, and threw Sam a smirk. "No matter how much you practised, you always sounded like a cat trying to take a crap through a sewn-up ass."  _  
  
_ He chuckled, imagining just how much Cas would blush if he heard Sam say that. "I know, especially the apple pie. I swear, last time I tasted it, I'm pretty sure I saw Jesus!"  _  
  
_ His smile faded at Sam's next question, and his face became grim. "Dunno, his orders fill up pretty fast. Shouldn't you have planned better if you wanted a cake for your girlfriend's birthday?" he asked, his voice a lot colder than it had previously been. It wasn't Sam's fault if he didn't like Cas, and Dean knew he was being cruel acting like it was.

 

_Sam_

 

"A huge Viking of a man?!"

If he'd been drinking he'd have spit it all over himself in his effort not to break down laughing. "Dude, and you call me a girl? You're the one crushing on a dude," he teased, knowing he really couldn't talk, he had had a crush on a guy for almost eight years now. It was just that no one knew about it, well apart from Jess, she knew, but she'd never betray his secret. _  
  
_ Nodded his head, not thinking twice before he pulled out his cell and texted Cas.  _  
  
**"Hey man, Dean and I are getting Chinese, you want anything or have you had dinner already?"**   
  
_ He hit send and put his phone back in his pocket. _  
  
_ "You probably did, his apple pie is stupid good," he agreed with his brother, chuckling until his face fell in shock at the rapid change in Dean's temper. His jaw was hanging open until he realised and shut it with a snap, still not sure why his brother had suddenly gotten so cold toward him. _  
  
_ "Okay, so I won't ask him then ..." he muttered, too confused and hurt to even point out that Jess wasn't his girlfriend, and he had only wanted Cas to bake it so he'd have a reason to suggest that the man come to the party. Not that he'd ever actually work up the courage for that part of the plan, but maybe he'd have at least been able to go to the bakery and sample cakes with Jess, and get to watch Cas work for a while. _  
  
_ He fell silent and stared out the window until his phone beeped at him and he pulled it out, looking down he muttered to his brother. "Cas says he's in on the food, didn't say what he wanted though, so we'll still have to go home to order."

 

_Dean_

 

Dean snorted with laughter. He wouldn't deny that he had a bit of a thing for 1990s era Hetfield. That much was painfully obvious. "Oh, cram it with walnuts, Sammy. Hetfield is awesome, and you know he is," he said, neither confirming nor denying his attraction to the Metallica front man. 

_  
_ He felt his stomach twisting into knots of anxiety and guilt. He knew he was being a jerk, but he couldn't explain  _why_ without outing Cas. He wouldn't be that guy, not when his best friend couldn't even admit it out loud to him without years of shame and religious bullshit choking the words on his tongue.  _  
  
_ "Ask him if you want," Dean grumped, driving past the dark and empty bakery Cas worked in during the day. "He's such a sweetheart, he'd probably make time to bake it, especially if it'll make you happy."  _  
  
_ He nodded his head, slowing the car down as he approached the apartment block. "Awesome. Any idea what movie you want to watch?" he asked.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam was no longer in a good mood, he was still confused as to why Dean got so angry about him asking Cas to bake a cake for Jess' birthday party and the more he thought about it, the more wild the reasons became. And it was bugging him no end. He frowned out the window and looked up at the familiar apartment block, that Dean and Cas called home. _  
  
_ "It's fine, I'll just by one from Walmart or something," he mumbled. If Cas really was that busy, it wasn't his place to ask him to do extra work. It had just seemed like a good idea at the time. Apparently he'd misjudged the situation somehow. _  
  
_ And then a thought that left him feeling sick to the stomach hit him, and he had to close his eyes to balance himself for a moment as he stepped out of the car, turning to grab his things. 

What if that is what Dean had been blushing about? What if Dean and Cas had decided ... that they were more than best friends? It wasn't that far-fetched really, other than neither were gay and had never shown interest in each other that way... But it would explain a lot of Dean's odd behaviour, and in Sam's traitorous brain, that meant it must be the case.  _  
  
_ He honestly felt like crying, which was fucked up, because if it were true, he knew he should be happy for them both. But come on, eight friggin' years he'd been crushing on Cas, cut him some slack if he was going to be a jealous little bitch about it! _  
  
_ "I don't care, I've got school work to do anyway, I'll just eat and then I'll be in my room, you and Cas can have the place to yourselves," he muttered as he pushed open the door to the building and started up the stairs, not one for elevators when he didn't have to.

 

_Dean_

 

Walmart. Now that was just insulting to Cas, but it made Dean think that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong about how Sam felt about Jess.  _  
  
_ "Buy a cake from Walmart for your girlfriend? Damn, Sammy! That won't earn you no brownie points," he said, giving a low whistle as they pulled up outside the apartment. He visibly cheered up at the mere thought.  _  
  
_ "Aww, hell no! You're not getting out of a takeout dinner with your big brother!" Dean said, stepping out of the car. He watched Sam all but run up the stairs, more confused than he thought possible. Shaking his head, he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked it. _  
  
_ No messages from Crowley.  _  
  
_ He put the phone away, insisting to himself that he wasn't disappointed.  _  
  
_ Making his way upstairs to the apartment, he clapped his brother on the shoulder outside his door.  _  
  
_ "Hey look ... sorry I was a jerk about the birthday cake thing. If Jess is your girlfriend, that's great, okay? I'm happy for you, really!" he insisted, turning the key in the lock and letting them inside. "Just don't go hiding in your room all night, yeah? Cas loves having you here."  _  
  
_ As he stepped over the threshold, he called out, "Ain't that right, Cas? You love it when Sammy pays a visit!" _  
  
_ He grabbed Sam by the scruff of his shirt and added, "Besides, now we're safely in the apartment, you need to tell me everything about mom's date, and whether or not I need to borrow Bobby's gun to take care of the sumbitch."

 

_Sam_

 

Sam ignored Dean's comment about Walmart. In reality, he hardly heard a thing the man was saying till he was spouting some shit about being happy for him and Jess and going on about not hiding because Cas loves having him there. What the actual fuck was going on with his brother today?! _  
  
_ "What the..." he muttered as he was all but shoved into the apartment and then grabbed by the neck. He pushed Dean off him and shrugged away from him, straightening his shirt and glaring at his brother. _  
  
_ "What is your damage today!" he snapped, clearly not happy with Dean. He noticed Cas looking them both, and quickly looked back at Dean. He refused to blush right now, damn it! So not looking at Castiel was a necessity.  _  
  
_ "First off, Don't call me Sammy! Secondly, Jess isn't my girl friend Dean, she's just a friend. So shut up about it okay! And thirdly, Mom is fine, she really seems to like this guy, and from what she tells me, he's a good person. That's honestly all I know. Other than he's a dentist I think she said. She refused to say much." _  
  
_ He huffed and moved into the lounge room, throwing his rucksack on the ground and his school bag and finally giving Cas a shy smile. "Hey Cas, sorry about that, Dean's being a dick again, this time it doesn't even make sense, but what ever."  _  
  
_ He shrugged and turned back to Dean. "Order me anything, I don't care, I'm going to have a quick shower, cause you're making me want to punch things." _  
  
_ He moved closer to Dean then and whispered in a way that really showed Dean that it mattered and he was serious. " _Not a fucking word to him about the damn cake okay? It was stupid, so just let it drop. Please?"_ He added the please, because he really really, didn't want Dean to mention the cake idea to Cas.

 

_Castiel_

 

Cas, sitting on the sofa, he looked up when the door opened and his eyes widened as Sam and Dean come in, he was going to reply to Dean, because yes, he did enjoy having Sam over, though why that was important he didn't understand.  _  
  
_ He never got a chance though, because Sam had launched into an angry rant about... well Cas honestly wasn't sure, other than the fact that he heard Sam say that Jess wasn't his girlfriend. Castiel's stomach fluttered and his heart raced, and he blushed, then he hated himself for his body's reaction to that news. _  
  
_ He looked at Sam like he was surprised to see him when the man finally turned and said hello to him. He cleared his throat and was going to reply when once again Sam was talking to Dean, this time Cas couldn't hear what was being said and then Sam was gone and out of the room. _  
  
_ "Ah Dean, everything alright?" He asked once they were alone, feeling highly confused.

 

_Dean_

 

So apparently Dean had all the subtlety and matchmaking skills of a dead cuttlefish. He gave Sam an amused look while the kid ranted at him, and Dean couldn't help the smug look on his face when Sam revealed that no, Jess was  _not_ his girlfriend.  _  
  
_ "Okay, okay ... chill the fuck out," Dean said calmly, and walked into the lounge wearing a huge grin. He tried to play it cool, watching Sam and Cas together, but he had to act innocent when Sam turned back to him a moment later.  _  
  
_ "Oh, buddy, you do  _not_ want me to order for you. I'll order some kind of nasty squid dish, and you don't want that! Cas will pick something out for you. You two tend to like the same stuff," he warned. And it was true, too - Dean would have ordered live squid for Sam if he could.  _  
  
_ He patted his younger brother on the shoulder and murmured, "No worries, Sam. Go on, have your shower."  _  
  
_ As soon as Sam left the room, Dean flopped onto the couch beside Cas, grinning like the Cheshire cat.  _  
  
_ "Yep, everything's cool," Dean said cheerfully.  _  
  
_ He blushed, and added quietly, "I sent Crowley a text."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel gave Dean an odd look as his friend sat down, but he shrugged, the smile on Dean's face meant nothing too bad had happened, even if Sam seemed rather annoyed. _  
  
_ "And you're blushing again. You still want to insist you don't like him?" he asked, smirking a little as he folded his legs under him and turned so he was facing Dean on the sofa. _  
  
_ "Just wait for Sam to be done in the shower, we can order when he's ready, I don't want to order something he doesn't like," he added as an afterthought. _  
  
_ "So what did you say to him? Crowley, I mean. In the text?" he asked, because he wanted details, he was still battling with his own internal homophobia, but he refused to let it show and he refused to hold Dean to his own stupid standards, or rather the standards of his father.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean's face moved from a pleasant pink blush to outright scarlet. Damn, he'd really have to learn to get this under control if he didn't want Sam to spend the rest of the night gleefully mocking him.  _  
  
_ "Maybe I'm not as adverse to the idea as I once was," Dean admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and trying not to meet Castiel's gaze. While he had slept with men in the past, he'd never had a crush on one before. He had no idea how to handle this, and it felt like strange new territory to him.  _  
  
_ "He likes the chicken chow mein with fried noodles - just like you do," Dean informed him. "And I'll have the moo shu pork with rice. Want to do paper scissors rock to see who calls the takeout place?"  _  
  
_ He studied Catiel's face for a moment, wondering if his friend was genuinely interested, or did he still consider the whole thing "sinful". His tone and expression seemed genuine, so he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I sent him a cute fact about otters - long story - and told him his car was nearly ready. He uh ... " Dean trailed off, grinning a little. "He told me I was cute."

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel nodded and then rolled his eyes fondly, climbing off the sofa to grab his cell, finding the number to the Chinese place in his contacts and hitting send. He placed their order, including a serving of spring rolls and some fortune cookies, before he returned to his seat on the sofa and gave Dean a soft smile.  _  
  
_ "So, what do you plan to do? Are you going to talk to him about it?" he asked. He was trying to be helpful, and the romantic in him, loved that his friend had a crush on someone. It had been a long time.  _  
  
_ "Yesterday though, you thought he was just some rich asshole, that must have been some phone conversation you had the other night!" he pointed out with a questioning look on his face. _  
  
_ He looked up as Sam re-entered the room and grinned at the younger Winchester. "Food's on the way," he told him before turning his attention back to Dean.  _  
  
_ "Did you text back? After he said that?" he asked, wondering if the flirting had progressed from Dean being called cute.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam, having finished his shower and dressed in soft track pants and a white tee, heads back into the lounge, throwing himself heavily into an arm chair, smiling at Cas and nodding. "Awesome, I'm starving," he admitted, looking from Cas to Dean and then back again, eyebrows both shooting up.

_  
_ "Texted who back?" he asked, ears perking up at Castiel's question to his brother. He smirked, he knew he could always count on Cas to find out what his brother was hiding from him.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea how to proceed right now. Crowley was at least a decade older than he was, and other than some very, very mild flirting, Dean wasn't even sure that Crowley was into dudes.  _  
  
_ "Well, I told him he can call me cute as much as he likes, but he hasn't replied to my text yet," he admitted. He tried to smile to cover up how disappointed he was by that, but he was pretty sure Cas would see right through that act.  _  
  
_ He shook his head, chuckling to himself. "I'll tell you all about when Sammy ain't around, Cas," he promised.  _  
  
_ As if on cue, Sam walked into the room, and Dean felt himself blushing so bright red he was surprised his face wasn't illuminating the god damn apartment.  _  
  
_ "Nobody!" Dean practically yelled, giving Cas a meaningful look. He knew his bestie was socially awkward, but he hoped that he would at least get that Dean didn't want Sam to know about Crowley. At least, not just yet.

 

_Crowley_

 

[text to Dean]

_  
**"Business meeting, sorry. You don't want me calling you cute love, I'm not good for anyone. See you on Monday. You really are sweet though, I'll pay for the repairs to the car, shouldn't have been an arse anyway, was in a bad mood.**   
  
**Crowley"** _

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel stopped talking when Dean made it clear that this wasn't something to be discussed with Sam and he nodded a little. Getting up off the sofa and heading to the kitchen to organize drinks for them all - beer for himself and Dean. He poked his head back into the lounge and looked at Dean.  _  
  
_ "Sam allowed a beer, or should I get him soda?" he asked Dean, because he knew if Sam was able to get the puppy dog eyes on him, he'd all but beat Dean around the head until he let him give Sam a beer. _  
  
_ He raised an eyebrow as Dean's phone went off and he smirked. "That a text Dean?" he asked innocently, doing his best not to laugh, as he disappeared back into the kitchen.  _  
  
_ "Sam, come help me with these drinks please?" he called into the lounge, thinking that if that was a text from Crowley, his friend might need a few minutes to himself, or rather without his little brother asking who was texting him.

 

_Dean_

 

"Nope, Sam sure as hell can't have a beer! He can have a Sprite like a good little boy scout, though. And don't let the pup eyes get to you!" Dean said sternly, throwing Sam a warning look. Just because he was a cool big brother (shut up, he was totally a cool brother) didn't mean he'd be okay letting Sammy drink.  _  
  
_ He blushed deeply, and waved Cas away dismissively.  _  
  
_ "Go get the drinks and shut your pie hole, Cas!" Dean suggested cheerfully.  _  
  
_ As soon as Cas and Sam disappeared into the kitchen, Dean took his phone from his pocket. He got the familiar butterfly sensation in his stomach when he saw it was from Crowley, but the smile on his face faded with every word he read.  _  
  
_ He swallowed a lump in his throat, and put the phone back in his pocket, having no idea how to answer that text. On the plus side, it had done wonders for his blushing. All the colour drained from his face, and Dean stood from the couch, heading to the armchair and flopping in it. Even if his love life was screwed, he could at least try making things easier for Sam and Cas.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam treated his brother to bitch face number four. If he thought he could get away with lying that badly, he had another thing coming.  _  
  
_ He rolled his eyes, knowing that Dean and Cas were closing ranks so he wouldn't find out who his brother was texting. Well, he'd find out soon enough. Cas would fold like a cheap suit with just one well applied dose of the patented Sam Winchester puppy dog eyes.  _  
  
_ "Oh come on, Dean! Even Mom lets me have wine at Christmas," Sam protested, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle on that front.  _  
  
_ He nodded, and followed Cas into the kitchen without needing to be told twice.  _  
  
_ As soon as they were out of the lounge, Sam lowered his voice and asked with a conspiratorial grin, "So, who's this girl he's texting?"

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel turned to look at Sam over his shoulder as he pulled two beers and a soda out of the fridge and he smiled, shaking his head. _  
  
_ "I can't tell you that Sam. Dean doesn't want you to know, not yet. I don't even know if there's anything to tell yet," he said firmly, trying to stay strong, and on that note, he turned away from the younger Winchester and moved to lean against the counter. _  
  
_ "So, what were you and Dean arguing about when you got here? Looked like you were pretty upset with him." He decided changing the subject was the best course of action, because he had to keep Sam out of the lounge for a few minutes, and he didn't want to betray Dean's confidence. _  
  
_ "I thought you and Jess were a couple, so you really can't blame Dean for thinking so also," he decided to point out. Arms folded across his stomach, well one of them was, the other held his beer, which he opened and took a mouthful of.  _  
  
_ He tried not to look to intently at Sam, he had a habit of that, it was something Dean had asked him about once a few months ago, he'd started forcing himself to not do it since then. Sometimes he failed miserably though.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam frowned. He had thought for sure that he would dish the dirt, but he had apparently underestimated how loyal Cas was to his brother. He huffed out an irritated sigh, and took the soda from the counter.  _  
  
_ "Okay, but you'll tell me if there  _is_ something to tell, right? I've never seen Dean blush like that before!" he said, giving Cas his best wide eyed and innocent look.  _  
  
_ Sam frowned, not sure how to explain what had happened in the car. "Dean started acting really weird, that's all," he said eventually. He wasn't able to articulate it any better than that, and frankly, sometimes his brother managed to wind him up just by being himself.  _  
  
_ He chuckled, and took a sip of his soda. "Nah, Jess is my best friend. Kinda like how Dean is for you ... right?" There was a definite note of hope in his voice, and he mentally kicked himself. He was beginning to sound like a desperate teenage girl, and it made him cringe. Why did he always turn into an idiot whenever Cas was involved?

 

_Castiel_

 

He couldn't help the smile he gave Sam and he nodded, stepping forward and offering the guy his beer. "Just don't tell Dean." He said with a wink, because if he couldn't think of Sam as an adult, then he really needed to stop thinking about him at all, because the way he felt about him was very much the way one adult should feel about another. _  
  
_ "I'll tell you if there's something to tell," he promised as he shrugged and leaned against the counter again.  _  
  
_ He laughed a little at Sam reason for his bad mood and he nodded. "That might be my fault, I think I upset him yesterday, he might not be feeling himself or something." He shrugged, because apparently he did that a hell of a lot around Sam for some reason, maybe because it was easier and less damaging to his health than doing what he'd actually like to do was. _  
  
_ Castiel couldn't help the beaming smile he gave Sam when the man confirmed him and Jess are just best friends. "Dean is my best friend," he agreed, wondering why that was a question. Surely Sam knew that already? _  
  
_ "Though Dean and I are both guys, Jess is a very pretty girl, does it not get... I don't know, awkward? Don't you ever want to kiss her or anything?" 

He assumed that for two straight people, being as close as he and Dean were would be difficult, then again, he was gay and Dean was apparently bi, which he was still trying to wrap his head around. But he told himself it was different, because Sam didn't have to hide the fact he was straight, the world didn't care about that.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam gave Cas a huge smile as he took the beer from him. "Promise I won't," he said, and drank down a mouthful before passing the bottle back to the older man. At least he could tell that Cas considered him old enough and mature enough to handle a little bit of alcohol, unlike Dean. 

_  
_ "Okay, good," Sam said. "It'd be awesome if there was something to tell. Dean deserves to be happy." He meant it, too. As much as he and his brother liked to mock each other, Sam would have given anything for him to have someone he could love.  _  
  
_ "Really? Can't see you upsetting anybody, Cas. Bet Dean just got his panties in a bunch over his car or something," Sam protested. Man, he really was like a schoolgirl with a crush. He literally couldn't see Castiel upsetting anybody ever. In his eyes, Cas was an angel, and nobody would ever convince him otherwise.  _  
  
_ He ducked his head, trying to hide the relieved smile that lit up his face. So he had worried for nothing - Dean and Cas were just friends! It was the best news he had heard all night, and it made him practically giddy.  _  
  
_ Lifting his head to look at him, Sam's brow furrowed in confusion. "No?" he said. "Why would it be? I'm not interested in Jess like that. It'd be too weird if I was. I mean, I'll hug her, and I might kiss her on the cheek sometimes, but it's not ... romantic, or anything."

 

_Castiel_

 

He smiled when Sam took the beer, the look on his face worth any grief he might get from Dean later. He took the bottle back and downed a little himself, trying not to get to excited that he was sharing a beer with Sam. It wouldn't do to blush right now. _  
  
_ He agreed with Sam on that one. "He does deserve to be happy. I wish sometimes he'd put more effort into his own happiness and a little less into everyone else," he agreed with a half smile, his brows furrowed. "Who knows, maybe it will work out with his mystery texter." He smiled then and shook off his bad mood. _  
  
_ "I made him let me pay for the repairs to the Impala," Cas told him, he was not about to share with Sam the other reason Dean might have been a little upset with him. "He fought me on it, but he agreed in the end." _  
  
_ He shook his head. "He's so damn stubborn." He huffed and looked at Sam. "Please tell me you're not that stubborn, or I don't know if we can be friends! I don't think I can handle two stubborn Winchesters in my life." He smiled and winked at Sam, to show he was joking, but he really did hope the younger man wasn't as bad as his brother. _  
  
_ "So you've never thought of her that way?" he asked, surprised. "Well then, I guess it is just like me and Dean."

He laughed and offered the half empty beer to Sam again. "So who do you like then? I've been told teenage boys always have a crush on someone! Who's the lucky girl?"  _  
  
_ Someone kill him now, please. Why was he even asking these questions? Did he want to torture himself, or was it because it would be easier to keep his distance if Sam was crushing on some pretty girl from school? Maybe it was both.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam licked his lips, trying not to focus on the fact that Castiel's mouth was drinking from the same bottle his lips had touched a few moments before. Just the thought of it was making him giddy. 

_  
_ "I blame my dad on that one. After he left, Dean decided he was the man of the house, and any time either me or Mom needed anything, he'd go out of his way to help us out," Sam explained softly. Dean could be a real jerk sometimes, but times like these, Sam couldn't find it in him to be cross.  _  
  
_ "Ah, so I was right - it was to do with the car!" Sam exclaimed. "Don't worry about Dean being pissy about that, you know what he's like when it comes to money. You did a good thing, Cas. Thank you for helping him out."  _  
  
_ He chuckled, ducking his head to avoid Castiel's eyes. He knew if he looked at him, he'd blush. "Only when it comes to Dean, or my Dad. Otherwise, I'm easy going, I promise," he said. And it was true, too. As long as he wasn't dealing with his family, he was very laid back.  _  
  
_ Sam was very glad he had chosen to look away, otherwise he'd never have dreamed he'd be brave enough to answer his question.  _  
  
_ "It's not a girl," he said quietly. "Unlike Dean, I don't like girls and guys. I only like guys."

 

_Castiel_

 

So many thoughts roll over in his mind as Sam talked that he honestly started to wonder if he wasn't going crazy. And he also wondered how on earth he could handle it if Sam started dating a guy. Thinking the man was straight was one thing. But knowing he was gay, and maybe having to watch him date other guys... it was too much.  _  
  
_ And of course then there was the voice of his father in his head, screaming about sin and hell and damnation and he closed his eyes for a brief moment, unable to look at Sam.  _  
  
_ Finally, he cleared his throat, and then did something that made him feel disgusted in himself. Without a word to the young man, he picked up his beer and left the kitchen, moving into the lounge he walked straight past Dean and into his room. Closing the door and curling up on his bed to cry, because it was all too much. He should never have asked Sam about what girl he liked, he was trying to make things easier on himself, and he had never dreamed Sam might be gay.  _  
  
_ All he had managed to do was ruin everything, and he had no idea how to handle it, so he did what he always did, and hid from the world.

 

_Sam_

 

Sam stared at Cas for a beat, wondering had he shocked him.  _  
  
_ "Cas?" he asked softly when the other man closed his eyes.  _  
  
_ Surely he wasn't that shocked to hear that he was gay? Sam felt his stomach twist in knots when Cas walked away from him and disappear into his room. He had all kinds of crazy thoughts in his head, like what if he just outed himself and Dean, and Cas was one of those crazy religious weirdos?  _  
  
_ He pressed his lips together in a thin line, trying not to let his stupid thoughts and assumptions make him cry. He picked up his soda, and the beer Cas had taken out for Dean, and walked into the lounge with both.  _  
  
_ He held out the beer to Dean, and sat down on the sofa, looking as small as it is possible for a giant of a high schooler to be.  _  
  
_ "I think I upset Cas," he said quietly, looking to his big brother to explain it all and make everything okay.

 

_Dean_

 

It wasn't nice hearing that Cas was upset, although he doubted Sam had done anything deliberately to cause it, but it was certainly a distraction from his disappointment.  _  
  
_ He took the offered beer, and stood out of his armchair.  _  
  
_ "Listen out for the delivery guy, okay? I'll go have a word with Cas," he said, and left some money on the coffee table for when the food arrived.  _  
  
_ He went straight to Castiel's room, knocked on the door to let him know he was there, and went inside without waiting for permission. He closed to door behind him and went over to the bed, where Cas was crying like he'd just had his heart broken.  _  
  
_ He sat down on the edge of the mattress and put a hand on his best friend's head.  _  
  
_ "What'd Sammy say to upset you this much?" he asked softly.

 

_Castiel_

 

Castiel heard the door to his room open. He knew it was Dean, Sam would never come into his room without knocking and waiting for an answer.  _  
  
_ His thoughts were confirmed a minute later when he felt Dean sit down on his bed and a gently hand reach out to comfort him. He took a deep breath. The tears still silently falling and shook his head weakly. _  
  
_ "Nothing, I'm fine," he whispered so softly he wasn't sure Dean would hear. He couldn't face this right now, he just wanted to be himself, he just didn't know how. And now it actually mattered, because what if Sam actually maybe one day was interested in him, and he was too fucked up inside to allow it to happen?  _  
  
_ "I don't know what to do Dean. Please tell me what to do?" he sobbed as he rolled over and curled around Dean, clinging to his friend, sobbing quietly.

 

_Dean_

 

"Liar," Dean said, stretching out on the bed. He rolled onto his side and pulled Cas into a tight hug. It broke his heart to see him like this, and it hurt even more to know that it was unlikely he could do anything to help him.  _  
  
_ "He told me he upset you. He just doesn't know what he did," he explained. When Cas finally rolled over and clung to him, he felt a tear slipping down his own face. Give him a fucked up car over a fucked up human any day of the week. He knew he could fix a broken car.  _  
  
_ "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," Dean insisted gently, rubbing his back to soothe him.

 

_Castiel_

 

"Sam told me he only likes guys, he doesn't like girls!" he whispered brokenly into Dean's shoulder as he clung to him.  _  
  
_ He hiccuped and continued to cry softly. He hated himself. _  
  
_ "I'm such a mess Dean. I don't know how to be okay with it. But it's so hard to fight it," he continued, voice small and scared. He wasn't sure what he needed, or what he should do. _  
  
_ "It's not Sam's fault, please make sure he knows that. But please don't tell him how I feel, or about me being..." _  
  
_ He couldn't say it out loud, that he was gay, that he was in love with Sam. He just couldn't.

 

_Dean_

 

Dean didn't know whether to comfort Cas or yell at him. As far as he knew, Sam had only come out to a handful of people, and for Cas to just walk away after his little brother admitted something like that to him ... Dean wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was so hard to know what the right thing to do was, but his symapthy for Cas won out over his anger for now. _  
  
_ "But surely that's a good thing, yeah?" Dean said eventually. "It means you have a chance with him!"  _  
  
_ The urge to just lift Cas off the bed and shake him was unbelievable, but Dean couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he knew the sort of bile Castiel's father had spewed at him, and how much of it his best friend had ended up believing.  _  
  
_ "You wouldn't be this much of a mess if you could just admit who you are, buddy," Dean said quietly. "I won't tell him anything, but ... god damn it, Cas - you really, really fuckin' need to forget your father's crap, and accept who you are. There'll be no peace until you do."

 

_Castiel_

 

He knew Dean was right, he knew he couldn't go on fighting himself like this, he just didn't know how to justify eternal damnation in hell for the love of a man while he was on earth. Surely his immortal soul should be his deepest concern. And that was the problem, why was he doomed to be miserable on earth, what made it so horrible that falling in love with a man would end him in hell. Why was it a sin, he didn't understand why his God would do this to him. 

And he hated him for it, at that moment, he hated God, he hated his father, he hated himself most of all. _  
  
_ "I know who I am, it is accepting it that I struggle with Dean. Every day I wish... I wish I was stronger," he whispered sadly and he pulled away from Dean. He didn't deserve his comfort. Poor Sam, what the boy must be thinking of him, Castiel hoped he hadn't hurt him to badly. _  
  
_ "You should go and see how Sam is, he probably needs you more than I do," he said softly as he turned away from Dean and wrapped his blankets tightly around his shoulders. closing his eyes and willing the world to disappear around him.

 

_Dean_

 

He stroked Castiel's back softly, waiting for him to see sense or tell him to get out. He wasn't sure which was coming.  _  
  
_ "Cas, buddy ..." Dean whispered, feeling his heart twist in his chest. "If it helps, you know me and Sammy, we'll accept who you are, no questions asked. And I don't think that God would make you this way if he thought it was a sin, yeah?" _  
  
_ He sighed heavily, and stood up from the bed. "I'll bring you your food when it arrives, okay?" he said softly.  _  
  
_ He wanted to just cuddle up with Cas and hold him until he felt better, but he was right - Sam needed him, too. Trouble was, Sam was just confused by Castiel's reaction, whereas Cas was struggling to accept himself. He knew which one he deemed to be more in need of his help right now.  _  
  
_ "Try to relax, Cas," he advised, and made his way back out to the lounge.  _  
  
_ He quietly closed the door behind him, and looked at his brother's perplexed expression.  _  
  
_ "He uh ..." he began, not sure how to explain what had just happened. "He's just going through some family shit right now, Sam. Best not to ask, yeah?"

 

_Sam_

 

Sam shifted in his seat, the Chinese had arrived and he had piled it on the small coffee table, but he wasn't real hungry right now. He shrugged as Dean came back in and frowned, looking miserable, feeling miserable.  _  
  
_ "Whatever, not like I need him to be okay with it," he mumbled, and it was pretty obvious he was lying. And that he was hurting more than he was willing to admit. "I just didn't think he'd be a homophobe," he added, and there was the anger and disappointment. "I mean, did he know you liked dudes too?" he asked, looking at his older brother. _  
  
_ "By the way, I ah, I'm gay." He figured if he'd come out to Cas he might as well let Dean in on it too. "You're at least not going to run away are you?" _  
  
_ And then he snapped at his brother. "And I'm having a damn beer." He got up and when he came back he had a beer open and sat down again, taking a mouthful. _  
  
_ "And what the hell do you mean by family problems? Those weren't family problems Dean."

 

_Dean_

 

"Gimme a moment here, Sam," Dean muttered, and picked up Castiel's food. He walked into his room and left it on his bedside table, but before he left he said, "You should come out and join us, okay?"  _  
  
_ He walked back to the lounge, closing Castiel's bedroom door behind him.  _  
  
_ He picked up his own food and sat down in the armchair.  _  
  
_ All he had wanted when this evening began was to eat Chinese food with his two favourite people in the world, and now it had ended up as a massive clusterfuck of emotions and internalised homophobia, and it was all too big for Dean to handle. Moo shu pork and rice, however, he could handle.  _  
  
_ He had just opened up the container with his food in when Sam's choice of words made him visibly flinch.  _  
  
_ "He's ... he's not a homophobe, Sam," he protested weakly. "And he knows I like dudes, but he's okay with that." _  
  
_ He gave his brother a knowing look and said, "Sam, I've known since you were fourteen. If you were expecting a dramatic reaction from me, you've been watching the wrong show!" He dug into his food with a fork (he could handle chopsticks, but right now he was too damn hungry and stressed out to cope with them) and looked up at his brother. "You told mom yet?"  _  
  
_ He was about to protest Sam's decision to have a beer, but after everything that had transpired so far this evening, Dean could have used something a little stronger than beer himself.  _  
  
_ "Family problems, as in his father's a bigoted asshole I'd love to punch in the face forever," Dean said quietly. "Look, he's going through a lot of shit of his own right now. I wish I could explain more, but he doesn't want me to talk about his problems with anyone. Sorry, Sam."

 

_Sam_

 

Sam huffed and picked up his own food, digging in, because despite everything else, he was hungry, and trust me, the boy could eat.  _  
  
_ "So it's not about me, is what you're saying?" Sam deducted from the little that Dean seemed willing to say. He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. Yeah, alright, he would accept that, he'd known Castiel most of his life, he found it hard to believe the man could possibly be a bigot. So it made more sense to think of it as Dean put it. _  
  
_ "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked softly, looking at his brother from behind his hair, head still dipped a little, because he felt odd, asking Dean if he could help make Cas feel better, Cas was Dean's friend, not his. And Dean still had, he hoped, no idea that Sam was crazy about his best friend. Had been for years. _  
  
_ "Wait, if you know I'm gay, why did you assume Jess was my girlfriend?" he asked, the logic of it confusing him, and he glared a little at Dean. "And why did you get so angry about asking Cas for a cake for her birthday?" Because after everything else that has happened tonight, that really seemed to have more meaning than he'd first thought it did. _  
  
_ He huffed in frustration and stabbed at some chicken. "Let me guess, you can't tell me..." he muttered.

 

_Dean_

 

He downed the rest of his beer, and thought of the cheap whiskey he kept in the pantry. Maybe he'd have a drink of that. If all else failed, getting drunk would help get his mind off things.  _  
  
_ "No, it's not about you," Dean confirmed. He could at least do that much to ease his brother's mind. He shook his head sadly. "It's something he has to work out on his own," he murmured, hoping Cas wouldn't overhear. He felt like a traitor even saying that much to Sam, but he was torn between the emotions of two people he cared about. It was hard to know what was the best course of action right now.  _  
  
_ The more confused his brain got, the better that whiskey started to sound.  _  
  
_ He rolled his eyes, and said, "Because I thought you were like me - bi!" He hesitated then, not sure how to explain his anger about the birthday cake thing without sounding like a lunatic or outing Cas. "It's a long story about the cake thing, Sam. All I can say is that I was worried it would upset Cas. Can't say why that is, but at least now you know part of the story."  _  
  
_ He finished off his food, and went to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the pantry. Alcohol would numb his brain.  _  
  
_ As he walked back into the lounge, he tossed his car keys to Sam. "Do me a favour, and keep those with you. If I'm drinking, I ain't driving nowhere."

 

_Sam_

 

Sam nodded, he could wait to find out more, one day he'd ask Cas to just talk too him, maybe the man would accept his offered friendship. If not he'd just have to go and cry to Jess about the whole damn, unfair mess. _  
  
_ "I just wanted to have a reason to spend more time with him," he muttered under his breath, talking about the cake idea. He wasn't sure Dean heard him, his brother was on the way to the kitchen when he'd said it. He hoped he hadn't at any rate, that was a whole nother load of shit he wasn't ready to talk about. _  
  
_ He took Dean's keys, eyeing the whiskey, wishing he could have some too. He knew there was no point in even asking. "Right," he said as he put Dean's keys in his pocket, and finished off his food. He stood and headed for his room.  _  
  
_ "I'm going to study." he muttered as he left.

 


End file.
